It was the height of the pandemic, April 2020, when Emmeka Hawkins first noticed itching. She had just showered before bed and was drying her back with a towel when the symptom appeared. “It didn’t alarm me at first. I asked my partner to put some itch cream on my back to help soothe it, and I just came to assume that I might have “being some sort of aversive reaction to the soap I was using,” Hawkins told PS. But 15 minutes later, the intense itching in the back resumed.

This intermittent itching lasted for days. Hawkins, assuming it is an allergic reactionstarted taking over-the-counter antihistamines. “I would consistently get minimal relief for one to four hours, and then it would come back,” says Hawkins. Then the marks appeared and the itching started spreading to his legs, face, arms and chest. Hawkins says that’s when she went into research mode, making lifestyle changes like replacing her soap and changing her diet to ease the symptoms.

The worst part of it all, Hawkins said: There were no images online that resembled his experience. While her research quickly led her to believe the itching and welts were hives, “I couldn’t find anyone with a skin tone like mine. When I did the research, there were no only light skin and their hives were very different from mine,” Hawkins recalls. The hives she saw online were red and swollen, even though her skin already had red undertones and her welts and bumps looked like she had rubbed against something that was irritating her skin. “Overall, it was very frustrating,” Hawkins says.

This points to a larger problem that has plagued the field of dermatology for years. For context, a 2006 study found that dark skin coverage in images in major dermatological resources ranged between 4 percent and 18 percent. And a 2020 study showed little improvement, with up to 18% of images containing dark skin tones.

With the lack of representation rendering his own searches fruitless and his symptoms continuing to worsen, Hawkins knew it was high time to see a doctor. The pandemic made this very difficult, however, because providers were not seeing non-emergency clients in person. “I was able to talk to someone online and it wasn’t very helpful because they couldn’t see my skin up close,” says Hawkins. Ultimately, she was advised to continue monitoring her symptoms and using over-the-counter solutions until she could see her primary care provider. And that’s what she did for an entire year, taking photos, tracking symptoms, and finding relief where she could.

Finally, in August 2021, Hawkins was able to see his PCP. It was then that he was diagnosed with chronic spontaneous urticaria. “I wasn’t sure what that meant, so (the doctor) said ‘chronic urticaria,'” Hawkins says. CSU is an inflammatory skin disease that causes hives that last for at least six weeks. Joshua ZeichnerMD, director of cosmetic and clinical research in dermatology at Mount Sinai Hospital, told PS for a previous story. Gary GoldenbergMD, a board-certified dermatologist, added: “These hives can be present every day or almost every day.”

Upon being diagnosed, Hawkins learned there was no known trigger for CSU. This alleviated some of the responsibility she had placed on herself to find the source of her breakouts by changing her diet and beauty products. But at the same time, Hawkins felt a sense of dread, knowing that the rashes were completely out of his control.

The glimmer of hope? Her doctor said the symptoms wouldn’t last forever — probably no more than another 24 months, as CSU tends to be a self-limiting disorder for many. Hawkins’ doctor told her the average was about two to three years, and she was already about a year and a half when she was diagnosed. But symptoms can persist beyond five years in up to 30 percent of patients, according to the Annals of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology. And unfortunately, Hawkins is part of that subset. She still suffers from spontaneous breakouts more than four years after her first symptoms appeared.

“I don’t know when I’ll start to experience a rash.”

During this time, she continued to take antihistamines for relief and tried to manage your stress levelwhich, when elevated, tend to exacerbate flare-ups. “(Rashes) are definitely associated with a lot of anxiety,” Hawkins says. “I don’t know when I’ll start to experience a rash.” And some days, antihistamines just don’t work. “I just have to get through this.” But on those days, she learned to take a more graceful approach to how she views herself and her body.

“I had to realize that I had done absolutely nothing (wrong),” Hawkins told PS, admitting that she struggled with self-blame for years after being diagnosed with CSU . But ultimately, she says, her relationship with her body changed for the better.

“Now I’m more aware of everything that’s going on with my body,” she says, including what it likes, what it doesn’t like, and what its “body line” looks like. base”, which helps him stay tuned to any changes that occur. . When it comes to your health, this awareness is never a bad thing, says Hawkins.

The content creator also found solace in posting videos and unfiltered content online: sharing her morning routine, hair care regimen and his experience with CSU. “Being a woman of color and not being able to represent myself, I think it’s important to tell my story,” Hawkins said.

Alexis Jones is the health and fitness editor at PS. Her passions and areas of expertise include women’s health and fitness, mental health, racial and ethnic health care disparities, and chronic disease. Before joining PS, she was editor-in-chief of Health magazine. Her other bylines can be found on Women’s Health, Prevention, Marie Claire, and more.