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How Wharfedale Men’s Shed helps men make new friends
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How Wharfedale Men’s Shed helps men make new friends

BBC Two men in their sixties in a small storage room filled with DIY tools, shelves and wood. Both wear blue tops with a BBC

Stuart Gregory (left) and Bob Miles (right) were two of the founding members of the Wharfedale Men’s Shed in 2018.

“I don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t come to the Shed,” Bob Emblin, 72, said. “This place has been great.”

“The Shed” that Bob is referring to is the Wharfedale Men’s Shed group – a place where guys from this relatively affluent corner of north-west Leeds can get together once a week for crafts, coffee and chinwag.

It is one of more than 1,100 Men’s Shed groups that have sprung up across the UK since the first was established in 2013.

The impact this has on the gentlemen who attend the group, which meets in the town of Otley every Monday, is evident.

Retired BT engineer Bob was widowed during the Covid pandemic, prompting him to join the Wharfedale Group.

“It was really loneliness and the need for me to make a fresh start,” Bob explains from a small makeshift cafe.

Three men are seated around a white table on which are placed a cup of coffee, a box of biscuits and other miscellaneous objects. Two are wearing blue sweaters, the other a cardigan over a navy blue tracksuit.

Brian Simpson, Robert Burnett and Bob Emblin enjoy the social side of the group

“You feel like you have a reason or motivation to do things.”

Bob chats against the whir of industrial tools and woodworking machines in the next room – among them a laser cutter, a bandsaw, a lathe and a 3D printer.

This is where the twenty or so members of the group can embark on a project of some kind, some of them requested by a local charity, the town hall or a nature protection group.

Alternatively, it could just be a personal DIY job that they need help with, or just a business while they tinker and chisel.

Hedgehog boxes have become a specialty for Neil O’Brien, who has been coming here since 2019.

“Every one of these products I make sells out very quickly,” Neil laughs. “They’re not expensive.

“As soon as I make one, it disappears!”

A man in his seventies smiles at the camera with his left hand perched on a wooden crate, which has a small wooden cutout of a hedgehog on the front. He is standing in a workshop with tools and machines all around him.

Neil O’Brien’s DIY skills are in high demand

Neil’s knowledge and experience means he is in high demand by others who need help with their own projects. He jokes that he’s “invariably” rushed.

“My background is practical work,” he explains. “I’m more into metal work, but I’ve always worked with both metal and wood.

“It’s nice to be able to pass on knowledge.”

One of those hoping to benefit from Neil’s expertise is 32-year-old substitute teacher Adam Tasker, who is proof that age is no barrier to joining here.

“Neil is going to teach me some things today,” enthuses Adam, who only started coming to the Men’s Shed two weeks ago.

“They’re really nice people.”

A man wearing a visor and apron inspects a tool that looks like a large screwdriver as he stands near a lathe on a workbench.

The group wants to move to a larger base where it can accommodate more members.

This is a view shared by Robert Burnett, one of Bob’s friends in the coffee room. “We all help each other,” says the 63-year-old, who started coming here when he moved to Otley from nearby Burley-in-Wharfedale two years ago.

Robert jokes that the distinctive blue jumpers and polo shirts, personalized with members’ names, give them a “primary school” look, but they also carry an identity and a sense of belonging.

Everyone who registers must adhere to a code of conduct that prohibits talking about politics and religion in the interest of maintaining harmony.

“We all have different perspectives and views of the world, but we leave that aside,” says Robert. “There is the underlying message that we are all here to support each other and treat each other with respect.”

Robert says the group recently helped rebuild a local resident’s garden fence after wood was stolen from it.

“It gives us a bit of excitement because we are actively working in the community and using our skills productively,” he says.

A man depicted from the chest down opens a small wooden cup, holding the lid in one hand and the cup in the other. He wears a blue polo shirt emblazoned with the name “Bob M”.

Small wooden objects made by members are displayed at the front

Although being handy can be a desirable trait, it is not required.

According to Bob Miles, secretary of the group and one of its founding members, friendship and camaraderie is a “key part” of the Wharfedale Men’s Shed.

“We make the point to any new member that you don’t need to use your hands,” says Bob. “It’s important to make friends. You can sit and chat, have a biscuit and a coffee.

“One of the worst things about retirement is that you’ve spent a lot of time with people around you (at work) and all of a sudden you’re alone.”

Bob thinks that men “aren’t as good” as women at making new connections.

“I wish men were a little more open in this regard,” he adds. “But you have two guys working around a bench, chopping some wood or whatever, and they start talking about all sorts of things.

“It’s almost a catalyst that helps them come out of that reserved mode.”

Expansion plans

But the group became a victim of its own success. It has outgrown its current base, which is rather cramped and struggles to accommodate its members on the one day a week it has access to the premises of the Otley Courthouse arts centre.

With this in mind, the news that it has managed to secure planning permission to demolish a derelict cafe nearby and build its own facilities on the land is particularly welcome.

Not only will this help it cope with growing demand, but it will also be able to use the space for more than one day a week and rent it out to other organizations as well.

“Our intention is not to turn anyone away,” says president Stuart Gregory, 77.

“We never tell anyone, ‘I’m sorry, we’re full.’ So far, knock on wood, we seem to have dealt with the membership problem.

“I hope that when we get our new place, this problem will disappear completely.”

Given the difference this group makes to individual members and the wider community, this is a decision they desperately want to make.

With additional reporting from Don Mort, Local Democracy Reporting Service

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