Dear Carole: After caring for my mother for years, I moved her to memory care due to her dementia. At 93, she turns pale. This memory care offers nursing care for an additional fee, and they have been wonderful. I was told that my mother probably didn’t qualify for hospice care yet, but that hospice care could help keep her comfortable. I know hospice and palliative care both attempt to provide comfort care, but how are they different? I appreciate your help. –SP

Dear SP: I’m sorry for your mother’s failing health. Although we all know that life is limited, we are rarely ready to admit that someone we love might soon be gone.

You are correct that hospice and palliative care are related in the sense that they provide care aimed at improving the person’s quality of life. Let’s see how they work.

Palliative care may be offered alongside potentially curative medications and treatments. The team usually includes a doctor and a nurse trained in palliative care. Ideally, a specially trained social worker is also involved, and for those who wish, a non-denominational chaplain can assist the patient and their family. In most cases, insurance should cover at least part of the cost.

Key point: Although palliative care is not curative, it can be used alongside curative methods such as blood pressure, heart and lung medications, and chemotherapy.

Hospice care is covered by insurance, but to qualify, a person must be certified by a doctor as having a life expectancy of six months or less. Palliative care opens the door to increased services for older adults and their families, regardless of the setting. Like hospice care, hospice care provides physical, emotional, and spiritual support.

Key point: With palliative care, curative treatment is stopped. This is because doctors and patients understand that the treatment will offer little or no additional benefit and, in some cases, prolong the misery.

Palliative care is not about giving up. It is an active choice allowing people diagnosed as needing end-of-life care to remain as comfortable as possible for their remaining time. In many cases, this will allow them to enjoy their family and friends in a setting of their choosing. When the time comes, hospice patients die naturally and as peacefully as possible.

People often wait too long to seek palliative care. What they don’t know is that many patients improve once they receive palliative care since the often complicated cocktail of medications they take has been eliminated. Some will even improve so much that they will leave hospice for the time being. For this reason, hospice workers say the most common comment they hear is, “We wish we hadn’t waited so long.” The family lacked so much support.

If your community has several agency choices, ask other people who have used the services about each option. Historically, nonprofit hospices receive more praise than for-profit hospices, but this is not always the case.

For more information on palliative care, see

Julie, palliative care nurse

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My heart is with you, SP.