Charisma is not something only granted to a lucky few at birth. Growing up, I struggled with shyness; anyone would have called me “boring” when I was a teenager. I have learned a lot over the years and it has helped me develop my charismatic side. This has helped me get invited to podcasts, speak to thousands of people on stage, and attract a huge readership.

Fortunately, charismatic people have specific characteristics and personality traits that we can all learn from — and emulate if we want to show off when dating, finding a promising career, or simply connecting with our neighbors.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a charismatic personality emanates a “special charm or magnetic attraction.” These individuals use nonverbal behaviors like posture and eye contact to project a charismatic personality.

Here are 16 signs of someone with true charisma:

1. They keep things light

Humor developed as an essential social dynamic in humans and even in other animals, such as chimpanzees. We need humor to ease life’s difficulties and deepen connections. Be light in the face of challenges and you become the architect of a happier, more creative life.

2. They say what they think – but not recklessly

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Every once in a while, say something that needs to be said and that no one else dares to say. Say what you think honestly. Most people are held back by socially programmed limits on what they can and cannot say and thirst for honesty. Saying it frankly will earn you respect. This can give you huge bonus points because it takes courage but must be executed with care and awareness.

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3. They rarely complain

Complaining is for little girls who can’t find the missing parts of their doll. Reporting when something is wrong is another thing entirely. But complaining – even if only in the mind – will pollute your energy and infect those around you.

According to a study published in 2015 in the European Journal of Work and Organizational PsychologyComplaining makes you feel worse. “Discussing events immediately during or after they occur forces the brain to relive or ‘rehearse’ the negative emotional response,” the researchers write. “This creates a stronger association in memory, exaggerating the influence of the emotional episode.”

4. They listen deeply without distraction

Talking less demonstrates a sense of well-being if combined with a relaxed attitude and adds to your sense of mystery. Talking less and listening more can earn you respect in several ways, including build trustbe a stronger conversationalist, be open and thoughtful, be mysterious, be in control and be a good listener, research from 2016 confirms this.

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5. They don’t jump to conclusions

You can tell when someone is jumping to conclusions and having trouble thinking. They move and think too quickly. They make their lives complicated by rushing. Instead, slow down physically and the mind will slow down. One of the best ways to slow down your thoughts, according to a Harvard University studyIt’s meditating.

6. They accept their quirks

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To nourish an open and therefore more creative mind, capable of cultivating convincing ideas, I work on the rarest quality of all: the ability to observe. Doing this carries a subtle stigma.

You are “weird” if you observe because most people rarely observe. Follow your weird. There is power in observation. See the world as it is. This is the true source of wisdom.

RELATED: 9 Things Truly Charming People Avoid Revealing About Themselves

7. They pay attention to their hygiene

Seemingly mundane and “vain” things like cutting your toenails or ironing your wrinkled shirt are not frivolous luxuries; they are primary. How you take care of yourself strongly influences not only how you feel, but also how you think about yourself. Doubt will constantly bark at the door of someone who dresses like a redneck 24/7. The way you dress is the way people perceive you, Research from 2023 confirms this.

8. They truly accept themselves (and others)

The connection between someone validating our choices and our sense of well-being seems natural. But, as with possessions and happiness, it is also an illusion – and one that makes us unhappy. No matter what we choose to do, many people, including our family members, will not react well to our choices.

The alternative is to connect with your true self, be willing to separate yourself from the herd, and reap the rewards of taking risks. Acceptance of others is not the goal, but acceptance of oneself is. Self-acceptance will build your confidence, Research from Harvard University confirms this.

9. They are vulnerable

Those who turn heads don’t talk as much as most and don’t reveal everything about themselves. But when they do, it’s pure honesty. People who communicate honestly tend to be easily respected, according to a study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology.

Maybe you have the courage to share what feels uncomfortable or you’re willing to admit you made a mistake. This type of communication is refreshing and relieves stress because you’re not trying to be someone you’re not.

10. They go against the grain

Instead of frolicking with the majority and picking up the scraps, go against the flow. Use information from what most people don’t do as a guide. You will rise further than most and develop a healthier relationship by transforming uncomfortable things into valuable things.

RELATED: 12 Signs You’re More Empathetic Than the Average Person, According to Psychology

11. They don’t rush through life

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People are in a hurry and stressed. I most secretly want to be bossed around and have someone show up and make him feel better, less stressed, and more critical. Be that person. Leaders are people with vision and energy, according to a Harvard University study.

RELATED: 8 Habits Successful Leaders Practice to Build a Lasting Legacy

12. They don’t take every thought literally

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of listening to thoughts that bring you down. University of Notre Dame Research declares that our mind lies to us a lot. They’re just thoughts. They can be ignored. Refuse to buy into it and choose to act on the side of you that leads soldiers into battle.

13. They are able to release tension

Mentally analyzing your body can help you understand where you’re holding tension, how it’s affecting you, and help you release stress. Studies have found that body scan meditation can help relieve stress, improve sleep, improve self-awareness, reduce pain, and strengthen self-compassion.

14. They don’t live in their heads

Sabotage is much more likely when we are in our heads. We can’t stay in our thoughts if we do one thing at a time. How? Because we are no longer in planning or thinking mode. We are on the move. We are in the flow of doing. In this state, we are endowed with insight that elevates us higher.

American Psychological Association Research shows that focusing on one thing at a time, also known as “single tasking,” is significantly more productive than trying to multitaskbecause the human brain is not designed to effectively handle multiple tasks simultaneously, leading to decreased efficiency, increased errors, and mental fatigue when switching between tasks.

RELATED: 14 ​​Signs Someone Is Truly Respected, According to Psychology

15. They are humble

Through Zen Buddhism Shoshin – or “Beginner’s Mind”, the idea is to learn with the eagerness and humility of a beginner, whatever your level of knowledge.

“If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything; it is open to everything. In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind there are few.” -Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, the beginner’s mind.

Counterintuitively, this is the path to true expertise – and as Master Yi from League Of Legends said, “A true master is an eternal student.” Psychology Kruger stimulus effect supports this. While the competent underestimate themselves, the incompetent make mistakes.

16. They really enjoy life

Life is uncertain and often feels like we need to adopt smart strategies to “overcome uncertainty.” We compensate for our “unpreparedness” by adopting tricks like “fake it till you make it,” “focus on the audience,” or “make eye contact to appear more dominant,” or all three. Fake it till you make it, like search from 2022 says it, actually works.

Don’t try. Just find a way to relax and have fun. Everything you need will be there for you with information from a deeper place. The result is that we too often dedicate ourselves to pushing harder or going faster in areas of our lives where effort and effort are, in fact, deeply counterproductive, a professor of Asian studies and embodied cognition at the University of British Columbia and a renowned scholar of Chinese thought has found.

RELATED: 11 Ways to Make Someone Respect You Without Saying a Single Word

Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a lucrative personal brand through your knowledge and skills while remaining mentally resilient.