Time speeds up as we get older. We know this intuitively and can prove it mathematically. One year for a 5-year-old is 20% of their life – and only 2.5% of the life of a 40-year-old and 1.5% for a 70-year-old. Of course, time keeps speeding up.

Except for the last two months. They were an absolute piece of work. And the reason is quite clear.

It’s the elections.

The races — especially the one at the top of each ballot — have become increasingly ubiquitous and authoritarian as the days pass.

Arguments rarely vary. Candidates exchange the same words with slight variations in verbiage, from early morning until late at night, while commentators analyze every policy and pronoun. The attack-mourning-counterattack cycle repeats itself ad nauseam.

Torment includes Armageddon terminology. We enter the final battle. I fight for you. They are waging war on XYZ.

One of the main tools in the fight is sales. The onslaught is relentless, whether on television or in digital pop-ups. And when it turns on and it’s black and white, you instantly know several things. The atmosphere will be dark, the voiceover will be accusatory, the music (if there is any) will be disturbing or false, the images will be falsified and the facts will be revealed. be twisted.

Meanwhile, experts are studying the electorate in depth, carving up voters to determine who will lead with which electoral faction and which of those factions will be crucial on Election Day. After months of this analysis, experts have convinced me that this election will be determined by a few key voting blocs: whites, blacks, Latinos, Asians, suburban women, rural men, college graduates, those without a college degree, millennials, Generals. Zers, low-propensity voters, high-propensity voters, childless cat ladies, Haitians, Puerto Ricans, people for whom the economy is the most important issue, people for whom abortion is the most important issue, people for whom immigration is the most important issue, people for whom character is the most important issue, voters who simply cannot vote for a woman, Republicans who cannot Jewish voters, Muslim voters, new voters, union members, small business owners, veterans and students simply cannot vote for Donald Trump.

If you really pay attention and try to do your due diligence, time slows down to Groundhog Day exploration. And you don’t know whether to shout like Edvard Munch or whisper like Mr. Kurtz in “Heart of Darkness.”

The horror! The horror!

Melodramatic? A little. But I bet most of us, at one time or another, have wanted to say: no mas. And I bet most of us didn’t need the last month, in particular, to make a decision.

Let’s be realistic: our elections are problematic. They last too long – almost everyone in the world manages to make theirs in much less time. They cost too much: a staggering $8 billion was spent on this year’s races. They are too full of lies and misinformation to be worthy. And they leave both sides of our political chasm consumed by the terror one feels when one sees no way for the country to prosper under the leadership of a candidate one does not favor.

About 70% of the nation is anxious or frustrated — or both — about the presidential election, according to a new poll from the AP-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research. And no one can even expect the big expiration immediately after Election Day; the count is not guaranteed, but the agita will certainly continue.

Buckle up for these final days, when the commercials and the angst reach fever pitch. And if you fall into one of these make-or-break demographics, congratulations. The election is coming to you.

Columnist Michael Dobie’s opinions are his own.

Michael Dobie is a member of the Newsday editorial board.