One mum admitted she was fed up with all the holiday planning falling on her and decided to take matters into her own hands to make sure her husband was just as involved as she was.

Posting on the subreddit r/TwoXChromosomes, she claimed that when planning her vacation this year, she didn’t want to have to do the majority of the work herself, so she was planning ahead to make sure her husband participated .

She instituted mandatory holiday parties for her husband after realizing how much women do to make the holidays happen.

“As I begin to review my planning for the holidays (the food I prepare, which parents’ houses we go to when, the gifts I have and which ones I should receive, the packing of supplies), I see really how much work it is all every year, ” she wrote in her since-deleted Reddit post.

She explained that it was during last year’s holiday season, when everyone was opening presents, that she realized no men from either side of the family had been involved in preparing the presents. .

This involved wrapping, decorating, planning, or even preparing the food that everyone would eat later in the day. She remembers her stepfather buying her stepmother a necklace at a department store but not even bothering to wrap it, while her father asked if she could buy a gift that he could give it to his mother. .

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The wife refuses to perpetuate the cycle of holiday magic that slowly falls on women’s shoulders.

“Mothers, wives, and girlfriends did everything else. This goes back decades and generations, and it’s infuriating. I have vivid memories of the men sharing brandy and cigars while the wives ran around to prepare Christmas dinner,” she continued.

“To combat this, I instituted mandatory date nights for my husband during the holiday season where we both sit down and buy gifts, wrap the presents, prepare holiday food, pack the car to see relatives , etc.”

She claimed her husband was unhappy with this arrangement, as her father never had to do this when he was growing up.

However, she refused to maintain this tradition according to which the women of the family were responsible for everything when men were just as capable.

She insisted that this would end with her and that she would no longer continue to fuel this outdated tradition.

Branislav Nenin | Shutterstock

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Wives often face the burden of having to do the majority of their family’s tasks and projects, especially during the holidays.

Frankly, women are responsible for much of the mental load in their families, especially when it comes to planning activities, vacation outings, and even vacations.

Women in heterosexual relationships tend to shoulder a much greater share of the “mental load”, often estimated at around 70-80% of the cognitive work involved in running a household.

This ranges from primarily managing planning, remembering, and coordinating family chores, even if their partners help with physical tasks. Even something as small as planning a family vacation ends up falling into the woman’s hands.

Women are expected to drop everything and ensure that family functions, outings and events are perfect, while men are just allowed to have fun.

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It’s a shame that she has to force her husband to sit down with her and help her plan the upcoming parties instead of doing it himself.

Unfortunately, this type of behavior is patterned across generations, and it’s good that she chooses to break the cycle and make sure her husband is aware that this the burden will no longer fall on her.

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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work focuses on today’s issues and experiences.