A bride says her father wants to “ruin” her wedding because she won’t let him bring his girlfriend.

In an article on RedditOn the “Wedding Drama” forum, the bride described how she planned to have a “small and intimate” ceremony with around 15 people in May. The problem arose the day after he sent out his invitations, which requested that his divorced parents attend the wedding without their respective new partners.

The bride worries about her parents – who went through a “pretty bad” divorce nine years ago – or their partners “who meet or are in the same place”.

“My mother literally had to leave secretly when my father was out of town because the emotional and financial abuse was so bad,” the woman said of her parents’ relationship. “So far they’re on good terms, but it’s clear my dad has a ton of anger towards her.”

But the father’s anger is not limited to his ex-wife. When he was told he couldn’t come with his date, he immediately lashed out at his daughter on the phone.

“My dad went from 0 to 60 with his emotions and said he chose his girlfriend over me, that he would always choose her over me,” the bride wrote. “I replied that it was his choice and he could choose not to come.”

She continued: “When upsetting me didn’t work, he said he would stop my grandmother from coming (he also armed her before, as she is quite dependent on him).”

The poster asked the forum how she should ease the situation, as she is sure her upset father will “take everyone down with him.” She even went so far as to suggest calling off the wedding altogether and eloping instead.

Most commenters told the bride she should uninvite her father.

“Have the wedding, uninvite your father who, it seems, hasn’t changed at all since your mother escaped from him, and have someone else fetch your grandmother to wedding,” one user wrote. “Does she know that her son is using her as a bargaining chip?”

Other commentators were more concerned about the welfare of the bride’s grandmother, as it was implied that her son was controlling her.

Never miss a story: subscribe to PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up to date with the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

“I strongly suspect there is elder abuse going on. OP’s (original poster) mother had to escape financial and emotional abuse. Dad’s armed grandmother who depends on him?” another user wrote. “Sounds like a call to adult protective services might be necessary as well.”

The bride, who is a behavioral therapist, gave Redditors an update on her situation, but it wasn’t positive.

“Daddy yells at me. Grandma yells at me. We all yell, I guess,” she shared. “As a behaviorist, I know that if a behavior doesn’t produce the desired outcome, it gets worse until it decreases. So I’m hoping that by ignoring it for now, I can overcome the increase in behavior.”