Have you ever heard the saying, “Good things happen when you least expect them”? It seems like nothing is going the way you want it to when you’re looking forward to it, but when you let life happen, good things happen on their own – probably because you’re not looking forward to them. occur.

The water only seems to boil when you stop watching and waiting for it to happen. Ironically, it’s the kind of advice you get when you least want it. Why does this saying seem true, proving that your mother was right (ugh) and your efforts were in vain? Well, it often has something to do with the art of distraction and our human need for breaks.

Here are four reasons why good things happen when you least expect them:

1. You need a break to see the bigger picture

You can think more clearly when you are engaged in another activity or taking time to rest, focusing on something other than your goal. In a groundbreaking 2012 studyMary Helen Immordino-Yang and her colleagues at USC and MIT explained: “Rest is indeed not idleness, nor a wasted opportunity for productivity. » It is an essential element of learning and cognitive function. In addition, it helps reduce stress levels which, if not properly maintained, can lead to serious health consequences.

Do you remember those times when you solved a difficult math problem in your head while doing the dishes? Or when did you figure out how to finish your novel while walking your dog? Yeah, that’s how it is.

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2. You need to stop worrying about “settling down”

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According to a 2014 University of Toronto studyResearchers have found that most people who settle for mediocre relationships do so not because they are logical or rational, but because they fear being single, they “settle down” out of desperation.

When you leave fear and worry dictate your lifeyou distract yourself from other activities, goals and opportunities. Demonstrating a desperate need for something can lead you to settle for something you don’t want – something that doesn’t suit you. However, embracing unexpected moments, like those in which you suddenly realize how to resolve a situation that’s been on your mind forever, can bring you immense joy.

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3. You must give up control

It’s only when you give up control of a situation that you get what you want from it. 2018 research published on Psych Central suggests that the need to always be in control often stems from a combination of factors, including anxiety, low self-esteem, past traumatic experiences, the desire to feel safe, and fear of uncertainty. This feeling of control over outcomes can even alleviate symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

If you’re like me, then you hate hearing this; Sometimes trying is the very thing that sabotages your chances of succeeding. But is that really what this adage says? Let’s break it down into a more productive form of advice for people who are waiting for something to happen because, upon reflection, I think it can be great advice as long as it’s not misunderstood.

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4. You must live in the moment

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Although it is largely true, the saying doesn’t I want you to give up. Instead, he wants you to live in the present moment rather than the future. KLife and relationship coach elli Fisher also discussed this conceptaffirming that allowing yourself to do what makes you happy and healthy can lead you to find great things, especially a loved one.

So don’t worry about your future career path, when you’ll find someone you love, or whether your life will ever work out—at least, try not to. Remember, when someone tells you it will happen when you least expect it, you can be confident that you can follow through on that word without sacrificing your core values.

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Meaghan Summers is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture, and relationship topics.