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Dear Abby: Is it rude to ask someone what their unknown language is?
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Dear Abby: Is it rude to ask someone what their unknown language is?

DEAR ABBY:

I’m in an online group with neighbors, but I haven’t been able to get out and meet new members in person. Someone signs their messages in a language I don’t recognize, and I was wondering if there is a polite way to ask them how to pronounce their name and what language it is. It doesn’t seem possible to broach the subject without sounding negative.

Also, when I hear people in my local store speaking another language, I get curious because I’m almost fluent in three languages ​​and want to learn more, but again, what’s a polite way to ask? — WONDER IN VIRGINIA

DEAR YOU ASK:

If you have any concerns about asking your neighbors how to pronounce their name and what language it is in, don’t do it online. Ask another neighbor or wait until you can meet the person in person.

When you’re out and about and you hear a language you don’t recognize, smile at people, say you speak three languages, like theirs, and ask what it is because maybe you’d like to learn it. If the question is asked in a friendly manner, most people will respond along the same lines. (I did this in a supermarket recently. The answer was that they were from Indonesia and spoke Malay.)

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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