Jenny and Simon Brunton
cordially invited his guests to his wedding
donate to their house fund
with this poem:

We know it’s not a tradition,
that’s not how it happens.
Instead of something from our registry,
we would like to have a little fun.
Our apartment is full of all things
a couple might need,
and therefore a honeymoon/future house
is something we desire.
If you were thinking of giving a gift
to help us on our way,
a gift for our honeymoon/future house
would really make our day!

To celebrate their nuptials last November, Jenny and Simon Brunton decided to make their wedding registry a little different.

They found a poem online and posted it on their wedding website so they could explain their decision to friends and family.

“We know this isn’t a tradition, this isn’t the way it’s done. Instead of something not in our records, we’d like to have a little fun,” the poem begins.

He continues: “Our apartment is stocked with everything a couple could need, and so a honeymoon/future home is something we desire. If you are considering giving a gift to help us on our way, a gift for our honeymoon/future home would really make our day!”

Using The knota wedding planning website that allows couples to compile their registries, the Bruntons asked guests for monetary gifts to put toward purchasing a house, rather than physical gifts to fill that house. They set up a separate fund to cover their honeymoon expenses.

I think there’s also pressure from generations of families that it’s traditional to keep a record, and I just felt like that didn’t fit our needs.

—Jenny Brunton

“I feel like half the time people buy these things from you and it’s like, where do you put them, and are we going to use them in a year?” said Jenny Brunton, 28, who works as a sales manager at a Garden City restaurant. “Things are changing. I think there’s also pressure from generations of families that it’s traditional to keep a record, and I just felt like that didn’t fit with what we We needed.”

Using websites like The Knot, as well as Zola And Honey fundBrides and grooms can add a cash fund to their wedding registry. On The Knot, the fund can be added as an option for guests, alongside a list of gifts from various stores, or used on its own, as the Bruntons did.

The Knot launched this feature in 2017. The website offers pre-named funds (“New Home Fund,” “Honeymoon Fund,” and “Home Appliances” are a few options) or couples have the option to name the fund themselves. funds.

According to their own national data, the share of couples on The Knot using funds from their new home on their wedding registry has increased 62% since 2018. Today, nearly 20% of couples listed on The Knot request that wedding registry guests contribute toward their down payment on their first home.

Esther Lee, deputy editor of The Knot, is based in Philadelphia and has been through the process of buying a home in 2022.

“I didn’t realize there were so many different facets to it,” Lee said, “with unexpected costs and things that come up along the way, the biggest being the down payment. I realized that unless they are educated about the home buying process, many people do not meet the 10-25% standard they set, which in the Long Island context is a significant amount »

The average couple can’t always do that, she added. “So having the support of loved ones is such a benefit, especially when they cross the threshold of one stage, it propels them to the next one.”

On The Knot, couples link their bank account directly to their registry to receive funds directly, with a 2.5% credit card fee for the gift giver. For Long Island couples with cash funds included in their wedding registry on The Knot, 24% have earmarked funds for a new home for their 2024 weddings.

Monique Hamilton, who runs Monique Hamilton Events, a company that primarily plans weddings, said many couples are changing their priorities when it comes to wedding gifts.

“People are getting married a little bit older, they’re not doing what was done in the past in terms of living at home with mom and dad,” said Hamilton, whose business is based in Nassau County. “They live alone, or a lot of couples live together before they get married. So I think what people are asking for has changed, as a result of those changes.”

The decision to focus on a new fund for their marriage seemed clear to Brunton, she said.

“At the time, my husband and I lived in a very small basement apartment,” Brunton said. “And we were trying to think of things that we needed that I could put on the registry, but at the time, being in a small apartment, we already had everything we needed at that point.”

The couple moved from their Bethpage apartment to Jenny Brunton’s parents’ house in Levittown to save extra money for their permanent home.

“We’re not looking at the moment,” she said. “We just know that whatever house we buy first, it’s going to be something we can’t necessarily afford, and we’ll just have to take on a huge renovation.”

They might start with a condo or townhouse before looking for something more permanent, Brunton added.

“We just think if we start small, with a condo, at least it’s temporary and we still own something,” she said. “Then, in the future, when we are in a better financial situation, we can buy a house in an area that we want to expand to.”

Looking back, the fund is much better… When we want to buy a house, we can buy the things we want and need later.

—Jenny Brunton

Looking back on her wedding a year ago, Brunton is glad she and her husband created a fund for the house instead of asking for more gifts.

“Looking back, the fund is much better,” she said. “We have the money we earned in our savings, and when we want to buy a house, we can buy the things we want and need later.”

Hamilton said brides and grooms might be reluctant to opt for a conventional registry, but weddings (and the housing market) simply aren’t the same as they were decades ago.

“I think it’s important for people to understand that some traditional norms are changing, and that’s OK,” she said. “It’s normal for a couple to want to do things their own way.”

Rachel Weiss joined Newsday in 2016. As a multimedia real estate and residential reporter, Rachel writes feature stories and contributes to and appears in on-camera video packages. She was the lead reporter for Newsday’s LI Acts of Kindness series.