“Hearst Magazines and Yahoo may earn commissions or revenue from certain articles through these links.”

My relationship with food has never been healthy. I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life, but my recent weight loss journey began after the birth of my second son in 2018.

I treated major depressive disorder and postpartum depression since birth. In 2019, about a year later, I asked for help. For two years, I was prescribed different medications for depression, such as Zoloft, Celexa, and Cymbalta, until I decided to switch to Cymbalta, which worked well for me. Most of the antidepressants I have been prescribed can potentially side effect of weight gain.

At the end of 2021, I stepped on the scale and was the same weight as when I was nine months pregnant with my youngest – and I didn’t feel good. At the time, I attributed my weight gain to antidepressants, but I continued to see my weight increase. So in November 2021, I started Weight Watchers.

In eighteen months, I devoted all my time and energy to participating in the WW program and lost 65 pounds. I connected with other WW members online and shared recipes and nutrition information on my Instagram and TikTok accounts. Everything was going well until something happened in my personal life that would cause me to return to my old habits of emotional eating and binge eating. Binge eating disorder is a condition that involves eating a large amount of food in a short period of time while feeling out of control, usually once a week, depending on the National Institutes of Health (NIH).

My mental health and my physical health are so closely linked that if one succeeds, the other succeeds – and if one fails, the other fails.

Between February and December 2023, I battled my brain every day.

I was going through an emotional time in my personal life and eating was my coping mechanism. I was obsessed with food. If I followed a WW plan, I thought about everything I wanted to eat. If I didn’t diet, I would feel guilty. I had already lost 65 pounds with WW, so why couldn’t I do the same now?

I was constantly thinking about food. But I’ve learned that I’m not the only one experiencing these thoughts. “Food noise” is a colloquial term for constant, persistent thoughts about food and eating that are difficult to suppress, according to a 2023 narrative review in the journal. Nutrients. Based on the review, you may also feel like your life constantly revolves around food. This is exactly what was happening to me.

When I lost weight with WW, I dedicated all my time to the program and was successful. It was when life got hard that the sound of food returned.

At the end of 2023, I had gained 37 kilos.

So my doctor and I decided to try Related to Zep (tirzepatide), a weight loss and weight management injection, as a supplement to WeightWatchers.

I had previously done some research on how weight loss medications like Zepbound can help “quiet” food noise. This caught my eye and sparked my initial interest in picking it up. And while mental health wasn’t the main reason I started Zepbound, mine improved so much that after talking with my psychiatrist, I was finally able to reduce my dose of the antidepressant.

At the time, WW also launched the WeightWatchers Clinican online program that connects you with clinicians and care coordinators to help tailor your weight loss plan and prescribe weight loss medications. I chose to try WeightWatchers Clinic because I was already satisfied and comfortable with the WeightWatchers experience, so it made more sense to explore this option through them.

I received my Zepbound prescription through the WeightWatchers clinic and started with the 2.5 mg loading dose of Zepbound. I stayed on this dose for about a month to make sure my body didn’t have any negative side effects, like nausea or vomiting. While I was taking the medication for the first month, I communicated with my WW care coordinator and clinician via chat to record any concerns or side effects. Once we knew Zepbound wasn’t causing me any negative side effects, my doctor increased my dose to 5 mg for about a month, then eventually to 7.5 mg.

Initially, as my body was acclimating to the medication, I experienced mild constipation which resolved itself after a few weeks. But overall I was lucky and had very few side effects. On the days I was getting my injection, I noticed I wasn’t as interested in food. (But I still ate, because it’s not healthy to starve!).

At that time, my diet also changed. WeightWatchers presented its GLP-1 programwhich connects you with a clinician to decide your best medical weight loss options, including GLP-1 drugs. Rather than tracking points (the traditional WW program uses a point system to help you track foods and encourage healthy choices), the GLP-1 plan had me striving for certain target amounts of protein , water, fruits and vegetables for the day. An important part of being on Zepbound was making sure I was getting enough protein because you are subject losing muscle mass by taking GLP-1 medications, and eating enough protein can help. The tracker helped me understand how much protein I was consuming in my diet and whether or not I was on track to achieve my long-term weight loss goals.

I lost 22 pounds on Zepbound from mid-December to the end of March.

The mental health changes I experienced during my weight loss journey meant so much more to me than weight loss. For me, the weight loss was just an added bonus.

Zepbound has done more remarkable things for my mental health than any SSRI I’ve ever taken. (GLP-1, including Zepbound have been studied to reduce the risk of depression and anxiety.) For the first time in my life, my brain was silent. I didn’t realize how much mental space was taken up by the sound of food until it disappeared.

“GLP-1 medications impact all brain neurotransmitters associated with mental health: norepinephrine, serotonin and dopamine,” explains Sue DecotiisMD, a weight loss physician based in New York. “When they are low, it causes depression and anxiety. GLP-1 increases the production and action of these neurotransmitters. That said, none of these drugs are FDA-approved for mental health, she says.

Along with the changes in my mental health, I realized that the noise of food that I previously struggled with had dissipated. I could eat a portion of cake, be satisfied, and move on with my day. I could have leftover dessert on the counter and not fixate on it. I was able to do a lot more things thanks to the space my brain now had: I even started different puzzles and projects that I didn’t have the energy for before. It was incredibly liberating.

But in 2024, after four months on Zepbound, I was forced to stop taking it.

The main reason I decided to abandon Zepbound was cost. I was paying $550 a month out of pocket with a savings card and my insurance refused to cover it. I thought if I talked to my insurance company and went through the right channels, I could eventually get coverage. I pleaded with them, explaining that this medication was beneficial for my mental health, but they wouldn’t budge. My insurance company’s rule was that these medications would only be covered for diabetic patients – and since I didn’t have a BMI over 30 and diabetes, I wasn’t eligible.

Since insurance didn’t cover the medications, I had to pay for them out of pocket. My cost for Zepbound is $1,100 per month, and even with a savings card from the drug company, it only came down to $550 per month. At first, I decided that I would still try to stay on it, no matter the cost.

Unfortunately, the cost just wasn’t feasible for me in the long run. Six thousand dollars or more a year is a lot. I kept thinking about what I could use this money for, like my kids, vacations, and bills. I couldn’t get into debt.

Another major problem at the time was the shortage of medicines. It was difficult to get the doses I needed, and going to the pharmacy to figure things out made me anxious. (My doctor would send me the prescription, but I was lucky if I could get it.)

Due to the high cost, I stopped taking this medicine suddenly.

I didn’t experience any adverse side effects after stopping, but the food noise came back immediately.

When I left Zepbound in March 2024, I did so with a plan in mind. I learned through the WeightWatchers clinic that some oral medications, like Contravene (a combination of Bupropion and Naltrexone), may help reduce some aspects of addictive behaviors and cravings. When the sound of food came back, I figured I had nothing to lose by trying Contrave. It was easily accessible, covered by my insurance, and relatively inexpensive. I also met with a dietitian to discuss where I was, where I wanted to go, and how I could get there. We decided that going back to the WeightWatchers behavioral plan was the best route for me. It was something I was comfortable with and had already had success with from 2021 to 2023.

Since then I have been taking Contrave and using the WeightWatchers points plan to track. I lost even more weight, a total of 55 pounds. Now I have to be very careful about what I eat and make sure I track what I consume. And while I believe Contrave helps me meet some of my cravings, it’s not as helpful as Zepbound.

I also have a food journal in the Notes app on my phone. It forces me to stop and think about what I’m feeling and why I’m feeling it.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t my choice to leave Zepbound. I was completely excluded from a medication that literally changed my life. Sometimes I get frustrated knowing how hard I have to work to stay on a WW diet and control my binge eating, knowing that Zepbound has made it much easier for me to simply coexist with food.

There is so much stigma around weight loss drugs that when I decided to take Zepbound, I was nervous to tell my family, friends, and even the WW community because I was afraid to be judged. When someone is depressed, you can tell them to see a doctor or take medication. Why is it different?

You might also like