Women looking to attract a man often do everything in their power to change who they are inside and out. They may change their hair color, wear different clothes, or find new hobbies.

However, none of this is necessary. In reality, it’s probably her thinking and vocabulary that’s holding her back – or her use of two words in particular.

The two words that stop women from attracting men are “look” and “keep.”

I had an interesting exchange after I posted on my Facebook how to attract men. I wrote: “I am allergic to the words “watch” and “keep” when it comes to men. Someone contacted me to clarify what it meant when I used these terms.

I replied, “Women are conditioned to think and say, ‘I’m looking for a good man,’ or to ask, ‘How can I keep a man?’ Both have low energy. A big man is attractive and he also wants to stay with you. So, remove the words “look” and “keep” from your vocabulary because they will definitely prevent you from finding good men.

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Instead of the word “look,” use the word “attract.”

What you say is what you get. If you always focus on “looking, looking and finding” a quality man, you push him away.

As a woman, you naturally possess the energy that attracts a high quality man. You may have heard of the Chinese concept of yin and yang. These are opposing energies that balance each other.

A man who seeks and chases you (in yang energy) is open to seeing and receiving yin energy. Yin is everything feminine and sensual – everything it is not.

While men seek out and pursue women, women also actively attract men to them. It requires balancejust like yin and yang. Women need to talk about what they really want to have and perform, so don’t just “look” – attract them!

Instead of “I’m looking for…” use “I’m attracting…” Instead of asking, “Where are the quality men?” » or “Are there any left?” you ask, “Where can I go to meet quality men?”

This is an example of manifesting through positive self-talk. A 2023 study found that those who believe they are more successful – in this case, succeeding in attracting the man they want – perceive themselves as more successful. In other words, behave as if you already attract the man of your dreams, and you will.

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You need to understand the meaning of the word “attract”.

At this point, you may be thinking, “What if you were a strong, decisive woman?” Every woman has several personalities or personas inside. All are necessary and one is no less important than the other.

Men are attracted to Princess Fiona, but they love it when her inner warrior princess Xena comes out. Confused? No need to be. It’s the same with men. They have a feminine and masculine side, some more than others, but it’s there. Whether he accepts it and lives with it is another story.

Many men aren’t the only ones who don’t understand what the word “attract” actually means. The word is so widespread that it’s no surprise that many guys feel this way.

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As a verb, attract means: to bring near or adhere; pull towards or attract towards oneself or oneself (a magnet attracts iron); drawing by appealing to a natural or excited interest, emotion, or aesthetic sense; seduce (attract attention).

It’s powerful. Do you see, feel or hear low energy in these definitions? Probably not. Do you feel the power awakening within you right now? Most certainly.

The fact is, what you put out into the world is what you bring back. Make sure you only work on attract people who will be good for yourather than wanting to attract just any man.

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Remember: you are a natural attractor.

Most women don’t know this, but we are natural attractors. We are all born with the ability to attract. It’s just that most of us don’t know how to use this power.

Women can use this power to attract many things:

• You can get a man to approach you.
• You can attract a man to you.
• You can please men naturally.
• You can excite a man’s interest.
• You can arouse strong emotions in a man.

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Not only can you attract any man, you can also attract the type or quality of man you want.

• You can attract an extraordinary, high-quality man… or you can attract assholes.
• You can attract a faithful and honest man… or attract an unfaithful and lying man.
• You can attract an attentive man…or attract a man who takes you for granted.
• You can attract a man who treats you like a queen… or a man who mistreats you.

We all attract. We also attract the type of man who pursues us. This is one of the hardest things for many women to accept.

When we are in a victim mindset, we say that men do things to us. I say this with all respect for the pain and suffering you may have endured, but until you stop thinking like a victim and realize that you have a choice, nothing will change.

Research shows that a victim mentality holds you back and is associated with diminished well-being, poor social connections, and self-destructive behavior. It’s a form of self-sabotage: you’ll never attract the kind of man you want if you consider yourself a victim.

Here’s another compelling and original thought: Sometimes, on both ends of the spectrum, we could be talking about the same man. You see this all the time. It’s so cliché, but it’s true. How many cases have we seen of a womanizer all of a sudden, after leaving a seven-mile path of broken hearts, going gaga over an ordinary woman?

Everyone is so shocked, impressed and appalled. For what? They just don’t understand the influence of a woman in all her power. While outward beauty may attract more men, when it comes to enticing them to stay, that’s a whole different story.

RELATED: 5 Laws of Attraction to Manifest Any Man You Want

Rhonda Cort is the founder of The High-Value Woman and CEO of Magnetic Woman International, a company specializing in helping women entrepreneurs enjoy a fulfilling love life.