Your candidate lost. You woke up this morning, tired, unhappy, and hit with a vague sense of doom that comes from being associated with a losing team. It’s the same kind of feeling you can have after your team’s defeat the Super Bowl or the World Series – a combination of heartbreak and depression. But it’s more than a game. Many people are also angry, and some are a little, or a lot, afraid, which is not an unreasonable emotion given that we have been told for months, by alarmists in both parties (and by paid alarmists from outside) in the United States), that our very democracy depended on what happened on Election Day.

“We are voting to save ourselves from the precipice of danger where we now find ourselves,” Oprah Winfrey said Monday in Philadelphia.

The tense atmosphere leading up to the 2024 presidential election has led many of us to identify personally with a candidate, and perhaps a political party, more than necessary, perhaps even more than it is not healthy. And some Americans are now paying the price for this investment with unpleasant emotions and even feelings of rage toward our fellow Americans. Many others struggle with despair.

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There is a way forward: finding peace.

I came across this phrase while listening to financial advice on “The Ramsey Show” earlier this week. The hosts were talking to a man who wasn’t sure how much money to spend on buying a house. This is certainly a world-first problem, especially in light of the latest housing market reports showing the median age of home buyers is rising, and some people suggesting the solution to the housing problem for young Americans could be adult dormitories. This isn’t exactly the future I imagine for my children.

But that’s where we are, and that’s part of the reason so many Americans woke up unhappy today. They believed that many of the issues that hung over their lives, like angry storm clouds, were going to be instantly vaporized by the election. And now some are seething against voters who lost that hope, with some suggesting that Trump voters were motivated by misogyny and racism (even though as of this writing, we’re talking about more than 71 million Americans ).

Unhappiness and anger are a problem, not only for those who feel this way this morning, but for all of us. Democracy may not have been on the brink, but some relationships are today, and Trump supporters would be wise to celebrate his victory with caution and empathy. It’s a difficult moment.

In “The Ramsey Show”, John Delony was developer a caller to put down as much money as he wanted for a house, regardless of other deposit advice he had been given. This, Delony suggested, would give her greater security in the future to have a smaller mortgage and allow the family to stay in the house if things went wrong. “Solve problems for peace,” he told the interlocutor three times.

May we all do this today.

As individuals, we cannot control the results of elections, even if we put up signs and drive people to the polls. This in itself is infuriating to many people, including some cable news hosts who, just yesterday, saw no problem in saying on air that they can’t understand how half the country could be so stupid. As with elections, words have consequences, and this derision contributed to the election outcome.

But still, for every person excited about Trump returning to the White House and carrying the Republican banner, there is a neighbor or family member who is genuinely afraid of where America is headed in the future. from there.

We all have control over how we respond to elections. Resolve for peace.

Don’t let off steam – it’s counterproductive. Congratulate friends and family members who supported the other candidate. Turn off and deactivate the vitriol. Don’t spread it.

On Tuesday night X, South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham tried to convey this, writing: “To my Democratic friends: take a deep breath. The sun will rise. The world is going to change and despite what Oprah says, we will have new elections. The comments were riddled with expletives, suggesting that some Democrats have work to do before they get to a place of peace. But everything else is counterproductive.

Finding peace will mean different things to different people. For some, that will mean closing the door on 2024 and looking toward 2028. On Wednesday morning, some Democrats were already wondering who would be “the face of the resistance” in the next four years. For others, finding solutions for peace may mean shifting focus away from politics altogether and finding other efforts and goals that energize us and have the potential to bring us joy. Jordan Peterson says that all positive emotion comes from progress toward a worthy goal. If your candidate lost, now is the perfect time to set new goals.

Years ago, U.S. post offices displayed photos of the current president. This was not allowed in 40 years because it is seen as a political message, which is pretty terrible, and sends an entirely different message – a message that says what too many people have said in recent years: the person elected by the majority of people in my country are NOT MY PRESIDENT.

Well, actually, this person is. And recognizing this is the first step towards a solution for peace. Liz Cheney did so on X this morning, posting: “Our country’s democratic system worked last night and we have a new president elected. All Americans are obligated, whether we like the outcome or not, to accept the results of our elections. »

Democrats have spent the past four years criticizing not only Trump but also his supporters for refusing to acknowledge a loss. While Trump appears to have won a victory by a margin too large to credibly contest, Harris supporters are being presented with an opportunity. They can choose to respond to the loss in a different way than Trump’s team did in 2020, stop the doomsdaying and refrain from demonizing Trump and his supporters as they chart a new course.

Trump supporters, too, have a choice about how to respond to the victory: in a way that fuels further division, or in a way that might promote healing – perhaps not today or next year. next week, but eventually. Choose carefully. Resolve for peace.