We often hear how important it is to value ourselves. Yet in a world of filtered images, double standards, disrespectful dating, and messages constantly pointing out what needs to be “fixed,” the quest for self-esteem can sometimes seem daunting. But experts say that while learning to value yourself can certainly take work, it’s not a lofty ideal but a tangible, practical journey that begins with small, concrete steps you can begin to take. Today.

“Learning to love yourself is just that – learning“, says Jeanine Estes, MFT and co-author of Help for High Conflict Couples: Using Emotionally Focused Therapy and Attachment Science to Build a Lasting Connection. Estes says that most people struggle with their self-esteem and that building a stronger foundation requires commitment and consistency.

Like anything else, the more you do it, the better you become, she explains. In her practice, she focuses on a blend of self-awareness and compassion, emphasizing that the journey to self-esteem requires a daily practice of acceptance, even when one is not entirely happy with oneself.

Here are 11 subtle signs that a woman has high self-esteem and does not tolerate mediocrity:

1. They cultivate a great relationship with themselves

As Estes mentioned earlier, everyone has off days, faces an inner critic, and feels insecure from time to time, but women with high self-esteem choose to to comfort, to console and to comfort oneself. believe in themselves as they would for a good friend. Instead of beating themselves up for saying the wrong thing, ignoring their intuition, or convincing themselves that they don’t deserve what they want, they trust themselves, recognize their strengths, and remember that it’s easy to gamble on them.

2. They don’t put their happiness on hold

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Even though they know that it is nice to share their time, love and interests with others, women with high self-esteem I know that their happiness begins with them. Instead of putting their lives on hold until they find a partner (or a friend with room in their schedule), they go out and live their life.

You’ll see them reading a book on a solo picnic in a park, enjoying a beloved cocktail at their favorite bar, and reserving a table for one at the new restaurant they’ve been dying to try . These women learned long ago not to wait for others, which is why they relish the experience — with or without plus one.

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3. They don’t sue anyone

Although it may seem unfair when their kindness, invitations, and text messages are not reciprocated, women with high self-esteem understand that not everyone is supposed to be their friend, partner, or member. of their family. Instead of campaigning for likes or allowing themselves to become obsessed with “winning” someone, they allow relationships to unfold organically, confident in what happens to them. they bring to the table.

If someone doesn’t feel a connection, they allow them to disengage in the same way they would when someone isn’t passing their own vibe check. Finally, they refuse to let disinterest shake their self-confidence, remembering that Dita Von Teese was right when she proclaimed, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, but there will always be someone who hates peaches. »

4. They invest in themselves

Instead of complaining about what they should have done in the past, refusing to change with the times, or convincing themselves that “it’s too late,” women with high self-esteem continually seek new ways to thrive. Whether it’s signing up for a masterclass, enrolling in a certification program, prioritizing wellness, and/or finding a qualified therapist to help you let go of thoughts and habits that are holding you back, these women are committed to taking it to the next level and moving forward. They know that their future happiness depends on the choices they make today and they can’t wait to get started.

5. They see transparency as a strength

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Saying “yes” when you mean “no”? Smile when you want to set a limit? Sure, they could do these things again, but at what cost?

Although they may worry about appearing “rude” or avoiding conflict, these women know that it is much kinder to provide clear communication and address situations head on rather than leaving someone on read or pretending she agrees with something you are. not. On the other hand, they appreciate it when people in their lives let them know what they really think and feel – as long as it’s said respectfully, they know that being open and honest is a great way to bond. better links.

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6. They don’t waste their time being jealous

While it’s completely normal to feel a pang of melancholy when someone achieves something they so desire, these women quickly remind themselves that there is much to do and that someone’s success other has nothing to do with them. This is why they will be happy to encourage others and see their success as proof of what they have done. they what we want to achieve can be achieved.

7. They graciously accept compliments

How many times have you responded to a compliment with a negative comment? Instead of deflect and redirect kind wordsthese women have learned to appreciate when their efforts are seen and to accept compliments with the grace bestowed upon them.

RELATED: How I Finally Rebuilt My Self-Esteem Through Complete and Total Radical Acceptance

8. They view lack of respect as a deal breaker

Several things can fall into this category (for example, a friend who constantly bails at the last minute, a partner who invalidates your feelings, a boss who takes credit for your work), and women with high self-esteem they themselves have crossed a line through all of this. When someone disrespects them, they are quick to call and take note. They may forgive you once, but they don’t forget and they don’t give you a third chance.

9. They are passionate about self-advocacy

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While it’s not always easy to share your wants and needs with your partners, friends, and employers, these ladies have learned that the only person who can truly advocate for them is them.

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10. They don’t hesitate to make difficult decisions

Whether it’s choosing a path that doesn’t fit someone else’s narrative, ending a relationship that has run its course, or walking away from a long-standing friendship that has become toxic, women with high self-esteem experience ability to make difficult decisions is an important life skill and will choose short term pain for long term happiness without excuses.

11. They protect their peace at all costs

While most people can understand the allure of juicy gossip and the excitement of an on-again, off-again romance, there’s nothing more satisfying than living a harmonious life with plenty of room to clear thinking. Instead of getting caught up in daily dramas or engaging in situations that exhaust them, they disengage and use their values ​​as a compass and their boundaries to feel stable and calm.

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Brenda Della Casa is a personal development coach, writer, author, ghostwriter and speaker. His articles and advice have been featured in Allure, Glamour, Men’s Health, Huff Post, Cosmopolitan, and Elite Daily, among others.