When Julie McFadden started drinking alcohol at age 13, she didn’t ask questions because, well, all the cool kids did it. She continued the habit as she got older, but didn’t think she was in red territory; she continued to work, pay her bills, and generally functioned very well in society. It is only when After McFadden stopped drinking and sought help at the age of 33 – two decades later – when she recognized she still had a problem. “Now that I’m sober, I can see it,” McFadden, now 41, tells SELF. “But I don’t know if I could have seen it at the time it happened.”

Many people with alcohol use disorder (AUD) – a medical condition that makes it difficult to stop or control your drinking even if it affects your health, career and/or relationships – find themselves in a similar situation. The irresistible urge to drink can cloud your judgment, making it difficult to recognize the signs of a dependence. AUD can also be difficult to spot because it exists on a spectrum, meaning you may have a mild, moderate, or severe case. “Traditionally, people think of it as black or white, like whether you have a serious disorder or not,” but people need to “see the shades of gray.” Anne Fernández, PhDa licensed clinical psychologist with the University of Michigan Substance Abuse Treatment Services, tells SELF. “This is one of the biggest barriers to people understanding the problems they might have with alcohol use and seeking treatment.”

Whatever your reason for being here, know this: the sooner you realize that your drinking is problematic, the better. Over time, alcohol can change your brain in ways that make you more vulnerable to relapse, says Dr. Fernandez. And getting help can reduce your chances of experiencing some of the devastating effects of alcohol abuse, such as liver disease, cancer, fatal injuries from accidents and violence, job loss, etc. For the record, if you answer yes to two or more of the these 11 questions you may be diagnosed with AUD, but there are also more subtle warning signs that indicate you or a loved one may have an alcohol problem. Here are five to watch.

Alcohol is the only reason you look forward to social interactions.

It’s pretty normal to attend events—themed cocktails, soccer games, vineyard wine tastings—that center around alcohol. Yet people with AUD tend to get lost in the drinking aspect and no longer find social interaction rewarding in itself. “It was kind of like my whole personality,” McFadden says. “It was no longer about a party, a concert or a fun intramural kickball game. It was about “let’s get drunk.”

This does not mean that you have a alcohol problem if you’re looking forward to your third cousin’s wedding because you’ll have the chance to throw a few away and let loose. But it’s possible if you constantly plan your life around alcohol and then avoid other people or activities you usually enjoy just to satisfy your craving, says Dr. Fernandez.

People around you comment on your drinking.

Right before he quit, McFadden had a conversation with his drama teacher that really shed light on his toxic relationship with alcohol. She casually mentioned that whenever she drank she felt an insatiable desire for more, but that she didn’t believe she was addicted to alcohol. “He said to me, ‘Honey, that’s alcoholism.’ But I thought if I still had a job and didn’t have a record of drunk driving, I must not be an alcoholic,” McFadden says. “When he said that, I remember it clicking in me like, Oh my God, this is what it is. And the more I learned, the more I said to myself: Whoa, it’s me. I have a problem.