A investigation into the social psychology of revenge from the research journal Social and Psychology Personality Compass defines revenge as a way of exchanging messages and meanings – it is a complex, chaotic, and often unhealthy means of communication. Although some experts suggest that there are potential benefits of resorting to revenge in toxic relationships or situations, the deterrents to vengeful behavior far outweigh any useful use of it.

In some situations, vengeful people make their desire and sabotage known, but in others, there are discreet ways to get revenge without getting caught. By recognizing these tendencies and behaviors, you can ensure you cultivate a healthy inner circle filled with relationships that enrich rather than devalue your life.

Here are 8 discreet ways people get revenge without getting caught

1. They start rumors or gossip

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While research found While gossip can be healthy in very specific scenarios, the majority of rumors sparked by resentful and vengeful people are intended to be harmful. Whether it’s eroding trust in a relationship, damaging someone’s reputation, or desperately trying to bring stress and anxiety into someone’s life, gossip enters many Bad hands can be one of the discreet ways to get revenge without getting caught.

Sure, gossiping behind people’s backs and spreading hurtful rumors may keep a vengeful person from getting caught, but it does little to protect them from negative karmic energy It’s certain that they will end up coming back.

RELATED: Psychologist Reveals 3 Toxic Communication Styles That Always End Relationships

2. They simulate friendliness

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According to psychologist Mark Travers Ph.D.people who fake positive attitudes or pretend to give good advice not only harm other people who are struggling, but also affect their own confidence and identity along the way.

So while they may quietly take revenge on another person by trying to assert their superiority over them with false success and happiness, they will only end up confused, disconnected, and isolated. Of course, be wary of people around you who always do better than you, especially if they want to point it outbecause they are probably trying to make you feel worse.

3. They exceed the limits

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Although experts like Yolanda Renteriaa licensed professional counselor, says that constantly setting boundaries in a relationship can be a form of self-deception and avoidance in itself, many vengeful people will sabotage relationships with their own selfish behaviors.

People who seek quiet revenge know that their tendency to cross specific boundaries in their relationships causes stress and emotional damage in others, but they use this to their advantage. They manipulate others thinking that they are suffering because of their own inability to protect their space.

4. They strategically express their ignorance

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Willful ignorance in relationships is both a form of self-sabotage and covert revenge, as it is an active decision to avoid being informed about one’s emotions, situations, or struggles. another person to avoid accountability when called out for not supporting or intervening.

Although it may seem obvious to some people that their partners or friends are expressing intentional ignorance, research from the journal Philosophical Studies claims that many of them use ignorance as a means of self-deception. They unconsciously avoid responsibility for their actions and, in return, sacrifice the well-being of healthy relationships with others.

RELATED: Why you want revenge – and why you shouldn’t get it

5. They stop communicating altogether

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While using “no contact” strategies with toxic relationships in your life can be incredibly healthy and effective in many cases, there are discreet ways to get revenge without getting caught that revolve around misuse of communication.

Whether it’s responding late to text messages, deliberately forgetting to answer phone calls, or completely “ghosting” people, vengeful people can use others’ desire to contact them as a means of manipulation.

If you recognize this communication – or, more importantly, lack of communication — from a person in your life disrupting your balance, consider this a sign to reconsider the value of their relationship in your life.

6. They make passive-aggressive comments

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According to a study in the Journal of Leadership & Organizational StudiesPassive-aggressive behavior is not only common in personal relationships, it is also incredibly prevalent in workplace dynamics and leadership strategies.

Co-workers may deliberately take revenge quietly on their bosses by making passive-aggressive comments, but also by undermining their managerial authority through a lack of interest and diligence in their work.

In more personal relationships, such as those with a partner or friend, passive-aggressive comments can contribute to a silent sense of distrust in a relationship, creating a feeling of instability or resentment that is not always easy to identify in the moment.

7. They move on with their lives

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Not everyone who “gets revenge” does so intentionally, as this messaging and communication is almost always a two-way street. One party may feel the shame, guilt, and insecurity often associated with vengeful behavior, such as a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology ” argues, even if the one person is only passively aware of it.

Consider the end of a toxic relationship: one person lives there, while another improves metaphorically. The person who is “moving on” may find a new partner, start a new job, or even create a new social media presence. They act quietly, and often personally, to achieve their goals, while another watches with resentment.

8. They return to old conflicts too late

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Forgiveness and open discussion are generally caring ways to resolve conflict, whether you’re in a romantic relationship, friendship, or acquaintance with someone at work. However, letting things fester over time, only to return to them later, with the strategic aim of stirring up intense emotions in someone who might have moved on or forgotten about them, is not only manipulative but confusing.

Easily overshadowed by healing claims, these types of conversations can be difficult to deflect, especially if you’re the person blinded by them. This type of questionable manipulation is more common than you might think. Think about the next time a A discreetly vengeful colleague points out a mistake of your project months ago and you will be reminded.

RELATED: 15 Phrases Manipulative People Use to Make You Trust Them

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment editor at YourTango focusing on health and wellness, social policy and human interest stories.