For many families, the COVID-19 pandemic has been a time of stress and anxiety about the future. But new research shows that lockdowns have had a silver lining: more family dinners.

The study, published in the journal Couple and family psychology: research and practicefound that families who ate together more often during the pandemic also had more positive interactions with each other, were more likely to share news and information, and even participated in more video conferences with extended family members .

The idea that shared meals are important for family cohesion is not new. But why are family dinners considered so beneficial and how can families make the most of these meals together? Three mental health experts explain.

Why are family dinners beneficial?

Basically, family dinners bring family members together, Dr. Amir A. Afkhamipsychiatrist and professor at the Milken Institute School of Public Health at George Washington University, told Yahoo Life.

“Family dinners allow family members to share experiences, thereby strengthening family relationships and bonds,” he says. “They also help parents and children improve their communication skills and, through shared storytelling of everyday challenges, encourage active listening, empathy and conflict resolution. »

A family dinner is a special time for parents and children to communicate, Anne Fishelpsychotherapist, lead author of the latest family dinner study and a family therapy researcher at Massachusetts General Hospital, told Yahoo Life. “This parent-child bond is actually a safety belt on the rocky path of childhood and adolescence,” explains Fishel. “25 years of research shows that when children eat meals with their parents, it is good for their brains, bodies and mental health. »

Family dinner also provides a designated time to put aside screens and other distractions and focus solely on each other, psychologist Thea Gallagherclinical associate professor at NYU Langone Health and co-host of the Mind in sight podcast, tells Yahoo Life. “This is the time to ask what happened today and what was sad or difficult,” Gallagher says. “It gives us a chance to connect and process the day.”

Family dinners can also instill a sense of identity and heritage in children through shared recipes and dishes, Afkhami says.

How to make the most of your family meals

Afkhami says it’s important for parents to have an “open dialogue” around the dinner table to encourage a judgment-free space for family members to discuss. “They also need to model supportive interactions to convey empathy and teach children how to manage conflict and navigate disagreements,” he says.

It’s also important for parents to make sure everyone has a chance to express themselves, Fishel says. “And when they speak, everyone listens, that’s the most important thing,” she adds. She also recommends making sure no one is interrupted or talked over. “If you have a child on the autism spectrum who wants to talk about new facts about dinosaurs, this should be a place to do it,” she says. “It’s a welcoming place where everyone can talk about their day or anything that’s on their mind. They must know that they will have their chance and that they will be listened to with warmth and responsiveness.

If parents are having trouble starting a conversation or want things to go more smoothly, she suggests playing a game like “rose, thorn and bud» at the start of the meal. “A rose is something positive or funny that happened, a thorn is something difficult or uncomfortable, and a bud is something that you hope will happen,” she explains. .

To make sure everyone stays at the table, Gallagher suggests having a visual cue, like lighting a candle at the start of the meal. “When we’re done, we blow it up,” she says. “It helps us be intentional about time.”

Afkhami emphasizes that parents “should actively encourage conversations and be active listeners themselves, being careful not to dominate the conversation.”

Do you have to regularly organize family dinners to benefit from it?

While it’s tempting to set a specific number of family meals to plan each week, Fishel says it’s not necessary. “The exact number is less important than the atmosphere around the table,” she says.

Some families struggle to have regular family dinners when their children’s schedules are packed with extracurricular activities and sports. But Fishel says there are “workarounds” when it’s difficult to get together for dinner. “The other meals are just as good,” she says.

Fishel suggests having an intentional breakfast, weekend brunch, or family picnic at a soccer field before a game. “You can even have an intentional snack in the evening after the kids return from after-school activities,” she says. “Any of these can benefit from a family dinner.”

Ultimately, Afkhami says it’s important for families to set aside time to connect. “The key issue is that family meals or gatherings should be an integral and non-negotiable part of the family schedule, to allow time to be dedicated to maintaining connections, even if meetings only take place once a week “, he said.

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