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10 Signs Your Adult Child Is Narcissistic, According to Psychology
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10 Signs Your Adult Child Is Narcissistic, According to Psychology

While narcissists often go unnoticed, with little known research about their daily lives and behaviors, a child’s parents may disagree. Not only are narcissists more likely to display selfish behaviors like manipulation and condescending language, but they are also willing to compromise their close relationships to boost their ego or assert their superiority.

Even though these parental relationships are deeply important, as neuroscience research suggests, they intrinsically bond us with an innate feeling of trust; Having a narcissistic child can leave you feeling guilty, unworthy, and underappreciated as a parent. Recognizing the signs that your adult child is narcissistic, according to psychology, can help you set better boundaries.

Here are the 10 signs your adult child is narcissistic, according to psychology:

1. They act impulsively

Frustrated narcissistic woman looking frustrated at home. Karolina Kaboompics | CanvaPro

If you’ve noticed that your adult child is quick to make big decisions, whether it’s jumping into a new relationship, making a big purchase, or booking a plane ticket with hours to spare, he he may have narcissistic tendencies. More concerned with the outcome of an important change or decision in their lives – attention from others – narcissists will reject the important prelude to making them.

A journal published in the National Library of Medicine argues that narcissists’ overconfident personalities and strong egos often lead them to make these poor decisions. With a mix of impulsivity, rejection of expert advice, and misguided superiority, they are more likely to misjudge a situation and make a decision that will harm themselves or others.

Failing to take responsibility for these decisions can also be a sign that your adult child is narcissistic, according to psychology research, as it often is. shifting blame and exploiting false self-confidence to protect their image.

RELATED: Newly Separated Adult Child Admits Living With Guilt and Fear of Punishment After Being ‘No Contact’ With Parents

2. They are extroverted and sociable

Sociable narcissistic woman smiling and waving. Fizkes | Shutterstock.com

With an inherent need for attention and validation from others, narcissists often harbor a large and ever-changing social circle of friends, colleagues, and acquaintances.

According to a Psychological Inquiry journal published in 2001These energetic, sociable, and extroverted tendencies are typical of someone with a narcissistic personality – they thrive on the value or admiration of others.

As a parent, you may notice this need for external validation very early in your child’s life, as they are often more expressive when speaking, have an unnerving confidence, and high energy levels.

In adulthood, this can manifest in many ways, but most commonly as hyper-confidence that inherently tends to attract others, especially those with deep-rooted insecurities which correspond to the inner turmoil of a narcissist. This is why narcissistic workers often get higher salaries and workplace promotions – they will do anything to please their bosses and present themselves as the most competent and confident they can be.

3. They lack true empathy

Solemn narcissistic adult woman in public. Boulevard | Shutterstock.com

Although he has better emotional recognition than the average person, according to a review of Front Psychiatrylike being able to detect someone else’s sadness or vulnerability, most narcissists are not truly empathetic. Although they may claim, as research suggests, to support the emotions of others, this is often based on selfish activity such as manipulation.

So, even though they are able to recognize and accept the emotions of others, they are not willing to support them unless it helps them support or benefit from an internal superiority complex.

A fundamental aspect of our connection with othersIt can be difficult to accept your adult child’s lack of empathy as a parent. With damaged boundaries, you will continue to feel the guilt and shame that comes with every interaction, but with the right advocacy, you will be able to move forward and maintain a healthier relationship.

RELATED: 10 Traits of People Who Seem Nice but Are Actually Narcissistic

4. They feel entitled to your time and energy

Mother comforting narcissistic adult child at home. JJ-stockstudio | Shutterstock.com

Especially for parents of narcissistic adult children, many people in their lives feel burdened by their constant needs for attention, help, support, and favors. Narcissists inherently feel entitled to the time, space, and energy of everyone, but especially people with whom they have formed relationships over the course of their lives.

Without healthy boundaries for their relationship, these parents will do anything to help their children but are, more often than not, exploited and humiliated. Narcissistic children might even use their diagnosis to make their parents feel guilty, arguing that it’s their fault that they need help or are in the situation they find themselves in.

However, as a PNAS research article argues that the origins of narcissism in children are multiple and intrinsically complex. Although a parent’s behavior has the power to greatly influence their children’s lives, it is not entirely responsible for the presence of narcissistic traits.

5. They are in a bad mood

Bad mood woman looking upset sitting on sofa. Faalguni Mandal | CanvaPro

With a fragile ego and deep-seated insecuritiesNarcissists who do not receive enough attention or validation from others often struggle with intense mood swings and frustration.

Of course, even when they receive this attention from others, the majority of their relationships are inherently superficial – driven by their own needs and manipulation tactics – perpetuating a cycle of isolation in their lives that also causes mood swings, depression and anxiety.

6. They use your triggers and insecurities against you

Adult parent looking sad and frustrated on the couch. Andrei Zastrojnov | Shutterstock.com

Since their ability to read people extends to all situations, many narcissists may use people’s vulnerabilities against them in arguments or conflicts. If your adult child knows that you have trouble screaming, he will get louder and louder until he gets what he wants.

If they are aware of your insecurities about your body, your relationships, or even your job, they will be the first to attack these things when you set boundaries, say “no,” or try to call them out for their behaviors.

RELATED: 4 Main Ways Parents Contribute to Their Children Becoming Narcissists, According to Psychology

7. They frequently use swear words or inappropriate language

Narcissistic man shouting during an argument. Joaquín Corbalan P | Shutterstock.com

Narcissists often use more swear words, inappropriate language and swearing than the average person, according to studies from the Journal of Language and Social Psychologynot only because they are more confident and self-assured in their ability to do what they want, but because they crave attention.

This tendency to swear, whether because he doesn’t care or because he’s just looking for attention, is one of the significant signs that your adult child is a narcissist, according to the psychology of selfish behaviors. This can also be characterized by a narcissist’s inability to be trusted, even by close relationships like friends or parents.

They will swear at a family member during an argument, even if they are lying, because they do not care to justify their intentional deception. They are willing to manipulate others into believing they are telling the truth.

8. They “love bomb” you

Mother and narcissistic adult child hugging and smiling. Nuva Frames | Shutterstock.com

While many people only understand “love bombing” or “intermittent reinforcement” in the context of a romantic relationship, it can also appear in platonic and parental relationships.

Narcissistic adult children may give their parents gifts, spend a lot of time with them, and pretend to support them with conversations, advice, and even forced empathy, but this is just their means of conditioning.

They want you to feel engaged and, more importantly, indebted to them at every turn, so they will use love bombing to gain your good graces. This cycle of reinforcement is not only manipulative in any type of relationship; This is one of the clearest signs that your adult child is narcissistic, according to psychology.

9. They look to you for validation and trust building

Narcissistic adult man sitting with his mother on laptop. Fizkes | Shutterstock.com

According to the book Psychological Perspectives on PraiseSome adult children inherit narcissistic tendencies from being “praised too much” by their parents growing up. Although this is rarely the only reason they become narcissistic, this cycle of behavior and reinforcement often continues into adulthood.

Narcissistic adult children will continue to look to their parents for validation and attention, especially when they can’t get it from others – from intense praise about their career to superficial compliments about their appearance, they will aspire.

10. They ruin special occasions and holidays

Narcissistic woman looking upset near her mother. Studio ViDI | Shutterstock.com

With a selfish, self-centered attitude, narcissistic adult children hate sharing the spotlight with other people, events, and vacations. They often sabotage gatherings that are not solely about them.

Whether they engage in attention-grabbing activities, vent to attendees, or generally cause chaos, they are quick to set the tone at events in favor of their need for validation. But don’t call them out on it, because ScienceDirect Studies suggest, because most narcissists only become more agitated when they are expected to feel embarrassed in groups.

RELATED: 8 Long-Term Effects of Having Narcissistic Parents, According to a Harvard Psychologist

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment editor at YourTango focusing on health and wellness, social policy and human interest stories.