A lot has happened in my life as a Catholic mother over the past four years, the main event being that four of my five children are now teenagers, which puts me in crisis mode most of the time. While I struggle to keep my children from falling off the boat, I have managed to avoid navigating the turbulent waters of the political scene. But alas, time flies and here we are at the dawn of a presidential election.

When I stopped stalking my children’s secret social media accounts, I couldn’t suppress my shock and worry at how little had changed in the world, despite their evolution into life forms highly intelligent, capable of outsmarting me. I wish my nature was as gentle as it used to be, but I have become hardened by the scrapes and bruises of traversing a teenage wasteland. In the pastI might have written this essay asking my fellow Catholics to examine their consciences and determine how we can best align our voting choices with our values, but instead I will say only this: as a Catholic , I simply cannot vote in good conscience. for Donald Trump.

Don’t tell me, “But he’s pro-life!” Sure, he presented himself as a champion for the cause of the unborn, but his so-called anti-abortion stance falls apart after about five seconds of scrutiny. Mr. Trump has been all over the map when it comes to abortion. He’s held more positions on this than Starbucks has on seasonal drinks. First he was “very pro-choice”, then suddenly “pro-life with exceptions”, then he is adage Florida’s six-week abortion ban is ‘too short’ – honestly, it’s dizzying.

Many pro-life Catholics choose to ignore that his behavior is erratic and atrocious in every way due to his Supreme Court choices. But here’s the problem: according to the Guttmacher Institute, the annual number of abortions actually increased by 11 percent from 2020 to 2023, the first full year after the overturning of Roe v. Wade. So rather than protecting the unborn, I would argue that this Supreme Court has done more to protect Mr. Trump. For example, they left more wiggle room in its immunity from lawsuits – a nice bonus when you have multiple cases waiting for you.

Furthermore, a true pro-life position is not limited to opposing abortion; it encompasses a commitment to the dignity and well-being of every person, from birth to the grave, especially the most vulnerable among us. Although some still believe Mr. Trump is a protector of the unborn, it is hard to ignore how his actions breed hostility toward countless families. His policies that separated children from their parents at the border and his hate speech which continually vilifies those who seek refuge are in direct contradiction to fundamental Catholic teachings.

We are called to welcome the stranger, but Mr. Trump’s leadership has gone in the opposite direction, fostering an environment that often dehumanizes those in need. And let’s not dance around it. Supporting someone with such a distorted view of humanity is very concerning. Recently, at a Mr. Trump rally, a comedian compared Puerto Rico to a “garbage island.” This is not only offensive and racist; it reflects a deeper disregard for community and compassion. Instead of uniting us, it fuels division and breeds rhetoric that distracts us from what really matters.

A call to moms: If you think it’s almost impossible to raise angry toddlers or rebellious teenagers, try letting them run your government! What would that look like? It’s a scary thought, but one we can’t afford to ignore.

And Kamala Harris? She supports legal abortion and has campaigned vigorously to expand access to abortion, opposing any restrictions, an obviously morally problematic position for those of us who believe that each baby is a unique human being right to life, but its economic policies are probably to help people feel safer about an unplanned pregnancy. Its proposed tax credits for families and commitment to affordable child care directly address the challenges of many parents. This approach prioritizes the well-being of families and children. Focusing on a person’s dignity and well-being through access to health care and education helps families thrive and impacts the unborn child. I call this “the pro-life offer!” » I can easily imagine the rolling eyes of readers who believe that Democrats are heartless “baby killers,” but I challenge you to consider that you can’t really be part of the pro-life movement if you focus only on Anti-abortion activism is on the march.

In many ways, Ms. Harris’s values ​​align with those of conservatives: She believes in the rule of law, and she served as a prosecutor and attorney general before becoming a U.S. senator and now vice president. She believes in democracy, which means that even if you strongly disagree with her stance on abortion, she is not committed to shortcutting our democratic process to silence you. I’m afraid I can’t say the same about his opponent.

Of course, while I think it would be the ultimate triumph for equality to finally have a woman of color as President of the United States, I have my criticisms of Ms. Harris. I can’t express how disappointed I was to see her skip this year’s Alfred E. Smith Dinner, a long-standing bipartisan tradition in New York that gives candidates a chance to eat and laugh together before Things don’t really get out of hand. Not to mention the enormous amount of money it raises for Catholic Charities of New York, an organization that “seeks to defend the dignity of each person as created in the image of God by meeting the needs fundamental aspects of the poor, people in difficulty, fragile and oppressed. of all religions. » (My husband, Jim Gaffigan, he was the MC of the eveningand also criticized his absence, which suddenly made it seem like he was hosting a Trump rally.)

It could be that Ms. Harris and her supporters are so immersed in the California bubble that they see no need to add another stop to her brutal campaign tour through purple states, and as she discovers how point she It was a misstep, it was too late. Its biggest defenders disagreed with my theory, citing its absence as a deliberate act of rebellion stemming from when Mr. Trump, in 2016, ignored the traditional spirit of the event, walked away from the script and did what Mr. Trump does best: turning a fun roast into a vicious attack on Hillary Clinton.

But we’ve all seen the debate. She’s definitely not afraid of the big bad wolf. It would have been even more meaningful for Ms. Harris to show up despite Mr. Trump’s apparent inability to break bread, especially for a public that takes the event seriously as a moment to put politics aside (I know, laughable, but still). Attending the dinner would have been a good way for her to show that she takes Catholics’ moral concerns seriously, even if she doesn’t agree with them all, by extending the same kind of olive branch to Catholic voters. that she asks them to give to her. .

When I heard she was sending a video message, I was skeptical but hopeful. As someone who isn’t on the Trump bandwagon and was honestly looking forward to the Al Smith dinner, I thought maybe Ms. Harris would give us something real. But no, instead we received a pre-recorded video over the phone starring Molly Shannon as Catholic schoolgirl Mary Katherine Gallagher — a piece from “Saturday Night Live” that, need I remind you, is older 20 years old. I love Molly, I really do, but it was like Ms. Harris’ team threw a dart at the wall of random 90s references and just hoped it would seem “relevant” to us Catholics. Spoiler: This is not the case. Al Smith’s dinner is a big deal for Catholic voters, and she missed a prime moment to show she’s “taking us” beyond stereotypes.

As Election Day approaches, I call on my Catholic brothers and sisters to reconsider what compels us to support Donald Trump. Do we sincerely believe that He leads in a way consistent with our most cherished principles? Or do we support it out of fear? I struggle to see how you can support a guy who is so obviously a bull in the china shop of democracy and who shows so little respect for so many lives, especially the most vulnerable, that we are called to considered as the image and likeness of God. I simply don’t see how following this path could be good for democracy, for equality, for the Church, or for the lives we consider particularly precious.

Let us call on leaders who embody the principles of our faith. This faith calls us to care for the marginalized and to defend the dignity of every person. It calls us to work toward a future rooted in love and justice. This calls us to insist on leadership that corresponds to the values ​​we hold sacred. While we will continue to defend the dignity of the unborn, let us admit that Ms. Harris has Catholic credibility on other important issues. Advocating for policies that support working families, a major issue in Catholic social teaching? Check. Affordable healthcare? Check. Family leave? Yes please. His attention to environmental issues aligns well with Pope Francis’ call to care for our common home in “Laudato Si.” And on immigration, although her main campaign message was to crack down on asylum requests, she stood firm in favor of humane policies and a path to citizenship, which the Catholic Church has been supporting for a long time.

Next time, maybe leave the 90s sketch comedy aside and make a real connection with the Catholic crowd. I’m voting for you anyway, but I have notes.

Editor’s note: How did you determine who to vote for in the next presidential election? Post your thoughts in the comments section below; some responses may be published online.