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11 Phrases Men Say When They Don’t Respect You
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11 Phrases Men Say When They Don’t Respect You

As time passes in a faltering relationship, resentment quickly grows as partners begin to disrespect each other. Often cited search for famous couples therapist John Gottman clearly shows that contempt is the cause of the downfall of most relationships. So when harmful phrases start being thrown around without caution, it’s something you don’t want to ignore.

Particularly in relationships, but also in all areas of life, there are certain phrases that men are particularly likely to say. when they don’t respect you. Recognizing these statements for what they are could mean the difference between tolerating a toxic relationship and doing what’s best for your own health and well-being.

Here are 11 phrases men say when they don’t respect you

1. “It’s just a joke”

The man looks upset Pearl PhotoPix | Shutterstock.com

Although it may seem innocent enough, this is one of the phrases men say when they are disrespecting you in a conversation. This is not only toxic, but largely representative of a larger problem of deviation, particularly among men.

According to psychologist Dr. Steven Gansdeflection is a coping mechanism that allows people to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, giving them an escape route to avoid uncomfortable emotions like guilt, shame, and embarrassment when they are arrested. Equally dismissive of your authentic emotions and isolating for the abuser, a the use of “jokes” to degrade or disrespecting others never comes from a healthy place.

RELATED: 7 hidden signs someone is trying to disrespect you

2. “It doesn’t matter”

Man smiling and looking at a woman at a table Images of people Yuri A | Shutterstock.com

While other people can validate our internal conflicts and support our emotions, no one has the power to tell us how we feel. If a man, especially your partner or friend, tries to convince you that his actions “aren’t a big deal” and you’re having trouble overcoming them, you deserve the space to be heard to express your concern.

Cindy Watson, women’s empowerment coach says that men who aren’t comfortable expressing emotions or empathizing with others will try to avoid conversations that require vulnerability. Don’t ignore your real concerns and emotions for the sake of someone else’s misguided comfort: you deserve to be understood, or at the very least, heard.

3. “You’re too sensitive”

Man looks angry while his girlfriend comforts him Perfect wave | Shutterstock.com

According to psychotherapist Amy MorinGaslighters typically resort to emotional invalidation or manipulation tactics to gain control of their relationships over a period of time, but there are still several ways they can subtly invalidate you in passing moments.

Shaming yourself for your emotions with a phrase like this is a form of gaslighting. They create a false narrative that favors them and rejects you, sacrificing your emotional health in the name of their own comfort. Healthy conversation should help you feel safe and not disrespected, confused and/or invalidated.

4. “You don’t know what you’re talking about”

Confused man looking at his laptop Images of people Yuri A | Shutterstock.com

A societal experience that many women have been unjustly subjected to for decades, an expression as being representative of a smaller scale injustice. When they say this, men are trying to assert their dominance, undermine your intelligence, and disrespect you. by devaluing your contributionshoping to take control of a conversation or make yourself look better.

Rooted in a place of insecurity, this type of behavior only isolates them from healthy relationships with women. If they’re not actively making space for you in conversations, asking you to be heard and understood, they’re probably not respecting you the way they should be.

5. “That’s not what I meant.”

Older man looks at his wife on the couch Andrei Nekrasov | Shutterstock.com

Even if he says something upsetting or dismissive, a disrespectful man will always find a way to place the blame on you. If something upsets you, you must have taken it the wrong way. If you feel targeted, it’s your fault. It’s phrases like this that continually demean and gaslight women, whether in a professional setting or in a personal relationship, making them feel equally misled and confused.

By responding with questions like, “Was it meant to hurt me?” or “Can you clarify what you meant?” you may be able to get them to reconsider their words, spark some introspection, and, most importantly, set boundaries for the kind of respect you expect from interactions.

6. “You’re not like other girls.”

Woman smiling while talking to a man Lightfield Studios | Shutterstock.com

A psychological manipulation tactic invented by “negation” explains the root cause of a sentence like this. A man who says this is disrespecting other women and trying to make you believe that you are being put on a pedestal.

While it may not seem malicious, men who use phrases like this are hoping that you will continue to go to them for external validation and confidence, further asserting their dominance or control over the relationship. Generalizing women’s behavior and identities is not only disrespectful, but also ignorant. Trying to instigate competition between women, particularly in the name of male validation, is not just a simple sign of an insecure manbut emotionally unintelligent.

RELATED: 19 Tragic Signs: A Person Lacks Serious Emotional Intelligence

7. “No offense”

Man comforting a woman on her sofa Olena Yakobchuk | Shutterstock.com

If someone starts with the phrase “no offense,” there’s really no way to go back if they don’t feel respected. Blaming someone who is upset about a remark you made is a telltale sign of insecurity. Someone who says this is not only not taking responsibility for their lack of respect, but they are also imposing unrealistic expectations on the people around you.

They are clearly aware of your boundaries and make a statement like this, but they choose to ignore them by dismissing your emotions and making you believe it’s not their problem. They are not self-aware enough to consider the impact of their own words, and if they are, they are not thoughtful enough to keep them to themselves.

8. “If you loved me, you would”

Man looks upset while woman comforts him Master1305 | Shutterstock.com

Described as short-sighted and unsatisfactory by psychosocial specialist Kendra CherryTransactional relationships tend to manifest themselves in subtle ways through interactions and conversations. Phrases like this are meant to tap into the nature of transactional relationships: You are only valued and worthy of support and love when you “do something” for your partner.

If you needed a reminder: you deserve everyone’s respect, even if you don’t “produce something” or actively support someone else. So, set your boundaries with disrespectful men and remind them that you are capable of making decisions in your best interest.

9. ‘You owe me’

Woman looking confused while a man talks to her Eldar Nurković | Shutterstock.com

Nobody has the right to anything from any other person in a relationship. And yet, many men seem to feel that they are owed something by the women in their lives, especially when it comes to romantic relationships.

Case Western University Researchers found that “entitled men were more likely to hold hostile views toward women.” So if a man makes it clear to you that he feels you owe him something, chances are he has little to no respect for you.

10. “You’re crazy”

Man looking annoyed, sitting on a chair ShotPrime Studio | Shutterstock.com

While an investigation into manipulative gaslighting by Associate Professor Cynthia A. Stark suggests that personal disagreements are often mislabeled as “manipulative” in modern culture, many women feel deeply affected by men’s lack of respect. They are told they are crazy When expressing their opinions or emotions, many women feel the need to be more assertive about their presence, their voice and their demands for respect from men.

From professional interactions to personal conflicts at home, these women can end up truly questioning their own well-being and mental health due to the constant stream of disrespect.

11. “You are so needy”

Couple having a quiet argument on the couch GaudiLab | Shutterstock.com

Expressing your needs is an important aspect of healthy communication that informs the best relationships. You should want to be on the same page, be able to support each other, and make sure that miscommunication and resentment don’t slowly sabotage your connection.

However, this type of communication is often impossible with insecure and disrespectful men, who either do not respect women’s authentic emotions or struggle to be vulnerable themselves. Feeling weak or embarrassed during healthy conversations about emotions, they isolate themselves or shame their partner into doing the same.

Instead of accepting and learning from the emotional intelligence of others, they degrade the women in their lives – trying to avoid taking responsibility or acknowledging their own deep-rooted trauma and negative emotions by telling their partner. they are just too needy.

RELATED: 12 types of toxic men who wreak havoc on your emotions

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment editor at YourTango focusing on health and wellness, social policy and human interest stories.