DEAR MISS MANNERS: Should I host my in-laws for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner? We’re all changing hosts, and it’s probably my family’s turn. But my in-laws are terrible guests.

They arrive late. They don’t take off their shoes. They offer to bring a side dish, but they either don’t follow through or bring something completely different. They let their children run wild – jumping off the furniture, taking out all the toys, playing rough and making messes. After the family meal, they do not offer to clean up or even clear the table. They just leave piles of dirty dishes everywhere while they sit and talk for hours.

I feel bad for shirking my duty, but it’s no fun being so stressed and resentful about the holidays.

GENTLE READER: Indeed, these are all good reasons not to want to entertain these difficult people. But Miss Manners can still think of two good reasons to do so:

1. They are your in-laws.

2. It’s your turn.

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners on her website, www.missmanners.com; to his email, [email protected]; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)