Although they say that time heals all wounds, this is not always the case.

A woman on Reddit has been separated from her parents for 24 years, and when she was contacted by her father and informed that her mother was dying, she remained conflicted.

She admitted she “hated” them for what they did to her years ago, forever traumatizing her and her husband. She put her eldest son up for adoption decades earlier, and she continues to blame her parents for their role in that decision.

The woman’s mother manipulated her into putting her baby up for adoption 24 years ago.

“I was 15 when I got pregnant, 16 when I gave birth,” the mother, now 40 years old, wrote on Reddit. “My parents weren’t really supportive and kicked me out as soon as I told them. They constantly harassed me to have an abortion, then demanded that I put the baby up for adoption.

Barabasah | Shutterstock

Luckily, her boyfriend’s parents were willing to help her and even got the young woman a job as a waitress at her uncle’s restaurant so she could save money.

“Every dollar we earned we saved for the baby,” she wrote. “It wasn’t much, but we were attached to the family we had created.”

Her parents, on the other hand, were not so supportive that she was forced to terminate their pregnancy a few months into her pregnancy, after her father attacked her boyfriend in the street and her mother accosted her mother at the mall.

“Then one day they called and told me they had changed their minds, that they didn’t want to lose me and the baby,” the woman recalled. “I was wary but hopeful. My boyfriend’s parents encouraged me to give them a chance. We all regretted it in the end.”

On the day she went into labor, the woman was at her parents’ house. They took her to the hospital and lied to the girl, saying they couldn’t reach her boyfriend and his family.

“Immediately after giving birth, my mother had forms to sign, telling me that they were hospital administrative forms,” the woman revealed. “It was my mother, I believed her. They were actually adoption papers. My baby was taken from my arms and I didn’t see him again for 20 years.

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The woman later married her boyfriend and they had three more children together; however, nothing could erase the pain of having their firstborn taken away.

“I left this hospital heartbroken and betrayed,” she wrote. “I went to see my boyfriend and his parents and we grieved together.”

She quickly moved away from her parents and completely cut them out of his life, admitting, “I hated them. I never wanted to see them again.”

When she was 22, she and her boyfriend got married in a courthouse and had a small barbecue reception in the backyard of her in-laws’ house. A year later, the couple had their second child, although the joyous occasion was tarnished by his mother’s past actions.

“The trauma caused by the events of my first birth hit us both hard, especially my husband. »

The woman and her boyfriend continued to expand their family, having two more children together, never forgetting their firstborn.

Christine Lola | Shutterstock

Every year, on her birthday, her husband bought her a Matchbox car and she made him rhubarb sponge pudding. They sang Happy Birthday as a family, wished him a long and happy life and took a photo together.

“We love each of our children, and yet our hearts ached and longed for our firstborn,” she said. “Every day I thought about him and hoped he would go to a good family who loved him.”

The wife and her husband were thrilled and speechless when their firstborn arrived at their home 4 years ago.

The woman was out of town with her older daughter at a softball camp when she received a phone call from her husband urging her to come home.

“I can’t find the words or express how I felt about what happened when we arrived home,” she wrote.

“Today, we are in regular contact with our eldest. We talk often, mostly via video calls. We like to see him, and he likes to see us,” she continued. “He was adopted by an older couple who couldn’t have children and were an only child. He loves having brothers and sisters.

Since their reunion, their eldest son has spent Christmas with his family every year, and they go to his house for his birthdays and the anniversary of his adoptive parents’ deaths.

“His father discovered us years ago when our son told his parents that one day he would like to meet us,” the mother explained. “I am very grateful to the man and woman who adopted him. They gave him a good life with lots of love and raised a good son. I wish I could have known them.

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A few weeks ago, the woman’s father contacted his in-laws to inform them that his mother was dying.

His father claimed that they have regrets for their actions and want to repair their relationship; however, the woman does not want to.

“Every part of me is against it,” she says frankly. “There’s not an ounce of me, even a little bit, willing to give them that.” I hate them for what they did to us, for stealing our son. For taking him out of my arms. All this time wasted because of their cruelty and selfishness.

Her husband, on the other hand, suggested finding her parents to “show them everything they missed and leave them with new regrets”, but the women insisted that they did not “deserve to lay eyes on so much kindness.”

The mother of four asked Reddit users if she would have been wrong to refuse to reunite with her aging parents after the years of trauma they caused her and her husband.

Reddit users supported the woman and encouraged her to listen to her heart.

Commenters have argued that her parents have had plenty of time to reconnect and only seem to care now that her mother is dying. Regardless of their regrets, Reddit users agreed that his parents had greatly overstepped their boundaries and manipulated their daughter. She has every right to refuse to reconnect.

“Did she really want to make amends because she changed her mind, or is she selfish and wants to feel like you forgave her before she dies?” » a user questioned.

“I’m not sure a revenge reunion is that great. I understand why your husband would want that, but it will still hurt you all,” another commenter pointed out. “So only do it if you are ready to open up those old wounds and deal with the grief from them.”

“Do what gives you the most peace of mind,” a third Reddit user kindly advised.

Parents should remember the excitement they felt about their first child.

No parent wants to find out their teenager is pregnant.

According to Crosswind adviceThe best way to respond is to pause and think, listen to your child, put yourself in their shoes, and recognize how they are feeling. Remind them that you still love them and discuss their options supportively.

Nothing can justify the decision to manipulatively put their daughter’s baby up for adoption on the day it was born. It was a cruel and heartless thing to do to young, eager parents ready to start a family – and it rightly cost them their relationship with their daughter and grandchildren.

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Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team based in Orlando, Florida. She covers topics related to lifestyle, human interest, adventure and spirituality.