My daughter and her husband work full time, I know it’s different from my time, but I feel like they’re handing off their parenting to robots, and I know they’ll regret it.

My two grandsons are 7 and 9 years old and spend hours in front of screens.

Every time I’m there, they’re glued to their computers, and it seems violent. I ask their mother what they play, and she doesn’t know.

The boys barely recognize me. They don’t get proper dinners, my daughter let them have dinner in their playroom last week and that was the final straw for me.

I told him I wouldn’t come unless the kids sat down to eat dinner with us.

My daughter just said she doesn’t like ultimatums, and that’s the norm for modern parenting.

The boys don’t get enough exercise, they don’t seem to interact with each other as a family, how can THIS be the norm?

I am so disappointed in her and worried about them. Am I wrong to stay away?

There is a lot of heat, pressure and frustration in the above, a lot of love too, we must not forget that.

Sometimes when we seem to give we forget where it comes from and what is the cause and I believe it all comes from the right place, you want the best for your grandchildren and for your daughter too, so let’s not forget not that.

Your daughter is right though, parenting has changed and is very different from when you were a parent, and it was probably the same for your own mother when she watched you.

Every parent who is working and trying to make ends meet is struggling. It’s not easy to continue, but to say that they are outsourcing their parenting is cruel and yes, they might regret some things down the line, but it seems to me that they are trying to do everything at the moment. They might even need help and that’s where you could come in.

You say the kids don’t get much exercise, well I think this is your opportunity to organize an event or activity to get them moving and get you out of the house and screens.

You are the one being proactive. This will give them the opportunity to get to know you better and strengthen the bond between you all. And have fun, go out and have fun with them, they’ll love it. This will also give your daughter a break.

Coming back to the screen a little, I would be worried about the content, quite violent has nothing to do with under 18s, let alone seven and nine year olds.

I know many parents are happy to have their children on screens, but don’t realize what they are watching. Parents, myself included, need to be one step ahead of this.

What they have access to these days is unreal and scary, so I would tell your daughter this and tell her what you saw. That’s if she listens!

Yes, if she listens, she “doesn’t appreciate ultimatums”, who does? Now the reason your daughter doesn’t listen to your advice is because she doesn’t want it, so stop giving her something she doesn’t want.

This will only deteriorate the relationship between the two of you and where will this leave us, nowhere. By the way, I guess she doesn’t want advice from anyone and that’s how it is, so don’t take it personally.

You say you are disappointed in her, you shouldn’t be, in fact you should be very proud of her and everything she does. The conflict here is that you think one way and she thinks another.

I think you should look at your own approach to this relationship, instead of giving her advice that she doesn’t want and doesn’t want unless anyway, ask her how she is and is there something you can do to help him and take his temperature. down a little.

It sounds like you and your daughter are a little lost together, you should sort this out. A gentle approach is the best solution.

Now I don’t like the fact that when you go there they are on their screens and eating dinner in another room. This happens in a lot of homes, but there is a rule in our house if someone is on top of the screens and is left out.

I don’t like eating in any room other than the kitchen and that’s where you’re going to ask, not tell your daughter to sort it out.

I would explain how you feel when you’re done and the kids aren’t engaging with you.

Now when you have their attention make sure you have fun with yourself and again I would keep the advice to a minimum, remember you are Nan or Grandma or whatever they call you.

You are not their parent, because you know what happens, all the stories will go back to their parents and you will write to them again next week.

I would start this whole process with the relationship between you and your daughter. Be nice to her and sit tight, tell her you’re worried about her, ask her if she’s okay and go from there.

Tell him that you want to take the children out for a day to get to know them better and spoil them, ask him if there is a day that suits him to do it.

Remember, parenting has changed, but you haven’t, so you too have to adapt here, but what’s very important here is that it’s all coming from the right place, so keep it there, everything will be fine GOOD.