Many people struggle to maintain healthy relationships with their parents into adulthood, often because of deep-rooted trauma, resentments, and unresolved concerns that have followed them into new relationships and connections. Nearly 20% of young adults admit that their relationship with their parents is “bad,” according to Pew Research Center studies.

With such complex and often toxic family dynamicsThe enviable traits that parents who stay close to their adult children typically possess are not as common as one might expect. You must maintain the supportive and compassionate nature of parenting, while demonstrating a level of respect that is instrumental to healthy adult relationships and companionship – and that’s no easy task.

Here are 10 enviable traits that parents who stay close to their adult children typically possess:

1.They are self-assured and confident.

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Many insecure parents actively sabotage their adult children’s success, from professional work to financial security to parenting styles, to assert their superiority and feel better about their own mistakes. According to Julie L. Hallauthor of “The Narcissist in Your Life,” this type of gaslighting is a key indicator of a deeply insecure parent.

By truly celebrating their children’s achievements and making room for recognition, healthy parents can stay close to their adult children by remaining confident in their own success as parents rather than as encouraging a dynamic of toxic competition between adults.

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2.They are open communicators.

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According to Susan Albers, psychologist at the Cleveland Clinicresentment harms romantic and family relationships. Triggered in childhood, resentment in many children over unmet needs, unrealistic expectations, and ineffective parenting styles often follows them into adulthood.

However, healthy parents with open communication stylesdedication to trust, honesty, and emotional intelligence do not allow resentment to persist. They attack conflicts head-on, act vulnerably without judgment, and instill in their children a sense of confidence to be able to advocate for themselves, even in family relationships and conflicts.

3.They are careful to give advice.

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Healthy parents ask permission before giving advice to their adult children – a healthy communication style that experts like Tara Mohr, women’s rights coach I wholeheartedly suggest that this is the key to maintaining a healthy connection as an adult.

While parents play a fundamental role in their children’s lives early on, guiding their perceptions of healthy relationships with their loved ones and offering occasional guidance during transitional life changes, as adults these children often need support. a listening ear from their parents rather than advice.

Of course, the best parents are willing to share their experiences and advice when warranted. Yet offering unwanted advice only leads to frustration in adult children who want to vent.

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4.They are emotionally intelligent.

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According to a 2012 study Regarding the connection between family dynamics and childhood emotional awareness, emotional intelligence is defined by empathy, self-awareness, and, of course, the ability to maintain and manage relationships.

Healthy parents who instill this skill in their children from a young age by creating an open space for them to learn, heal, and cope with intense emotions not only prepare them for future success in romantic relationships and platonic aspects of their own lives, but also to fulfillment. family relationships on the road. They know their role in their adult children’s lives, even if that means taking a step back or knowing when to step in during life’s big moments.

5.They are flexible and ready to let go.

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Our parents will always play a fundamental role in our adult lives, whether we went “no contact” with them or see them several times a week, so it’s impossible to ignore how their relationships, attitudes and expectations influence us.

Especially since the younger generations have lived at home with their parents much longer Than older generations, navigating early adulthood with children in close quarters can be tumultuous.

The ability to let go is one of the enviable traits that parents who remain close to their adult children generally possess, not only because it protects each person’s emotional stability, but also because it preserves the health of a future relationship without threats of resentment and frustration. They are willing to let go, believe they have done the right thing as parents, and let their children take charge of their own lives, even if that means setting healthy boundaries or encouraging them to take steps forward uncomfortable.

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6.They are adventurous.

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Parents who have healthy relationships with their adult children generally create a healthy distance between them – not to the point of ignorance or worry, but to the point where both parties can prioritize their own hobbies, do what they want and live in their own lives. manners without disturbing or antagonizing the other.

Healthy parents of adult children live their lives prioritizing their own well-being, health, and identity freely, without constant worry or consideration of how their adult children navigate theirs. When they come together, as adults, friends, or supporters, not only do they have enough to talk about, but they also invest time in themselves, which fuels the healthy nature of their relationship.

7.They set and respect boundaries.

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According to therapist Dr. Rachel GlikMany adult children struggle to maintain healthy relationships with their parents because they are unable to establish healthy boundaries with them – from needing space to protecting their parenting style with their own children or simply to create space for themselves to navigate life. without constant criticism from their parents.

However, healthy parents who remain close to their adult children generally have an enviable ability to respect their adult children’s boundaries, communicate their questions and reservations, and carve out time and space for each other. They recognize that their children have their own lives, just like them, and that their time, energy, and emotions should be equally supported and defended as adults.

8.They prioritize their own personal relationships.

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According to Ruth Schimel, expert life coachA parent’s relationships with others during their child’s early years have a significant impact on their well-being as an adult, and the quality of their relationships as an adult also has an influence.

When healthy parents have partners or friends who support them emotionally as adults, adding value to their lives and “filling their cup,” they show up better to the adult children in their lives. Without the unnecessary stress of an unsatisfactory partner or manipulative friend, they can grow, love and celebrate alongside their children, without judgment or worry.

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9.They are excited about the celebrations.

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According to social psychologist Fred Bryantwhen we savor celebrations and express gratitude in our daily lives, we “protect” ourselves from harm and build resilience that protects us from future conflict, stress, and anxiety. Even if it’s as small as receiving a card from your parents after a hard week at work, feeling appreciated, loved and supported has a profound impact.

Healthy parents who have good relationships with their adult children know the power of celebration and don’t hesitate to prioritize it.

10.They learn throughout their lives.

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It takes work to relearn your position and role in an adult child’s life, especially if you have always considered them a close friend, supporter, or influential pillar in your life throughout adulthood . However, to maintain a healthy relationship as you approach adulthood, it is necessary to prioritize this area.

Good parents who have healthier adult relationships with their children don’t hesitate to adopt a “lifelong learner” attitude: they ask questions, become curious, and openly discuss how to present themselves better. as parents, supporters and friends. even during life’s tumultuous moments and transitions.

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Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment editor at YourTango focusing on health and wellness, social policy and human interest stories.