Most of us have no problem reporting someone else’s rude behavior. It’s easy to shake your head when someone talks during a movie or closes a door in our face. But how often are we accidentally guilty of behaviors that others might interpret as rude?

“While everyone has their own view of what is rude, many people agree that certain behaviors indicate a lack of consideration for others,” says Manami Yamamoto, LMFT, founder and director of Blue buzz therapy. Many of these behaviors can be unintentional or accidental. label errors Or tipping mistakes.

Even though experts agree that factors like cultural background, socioeconomic status, neurodiversity, and other personal experiences influence what we consider rude, there are at least a few behaviors that are almost universally rude. And despite our best efforts, we can all be as guilty as anyone else of such behaviors. Here are some of the most common rude habitsaccording to experts.

Dismissal of service employees

We all have bad days, but that’s never an excuse to be impatient with your barista, talk down to the cashier at your grocery store, or completely ignore the person carrying your table.

“Treating (service workers) like they’re invisible is a big no-no,” says Fatemah Farahan, LMFT and owner of Farahan Therapy and Associates. “This behavior comes across as arrogant and entitled and is almost universally rude.”

Use your phone in social settings

Patricia Eyring, etiquette expert and president and owner of The Washington School of Protocolsays that constantly checking or using your phone can come across as rude and dismissive. This is particularly true among older adults, who prioritize focusing on others during social interactions.

However, she adds that many neurodiverse people use technology as a way to manage sensory overload, anxiety, or difficult social interactions – so context matters.

Being chronically late

Everyone is late sometimes, but it’s important not to let it become chronic bad habit (or to let your “time blindness” get the best of you). Eyring says some people view punctuality as a sign of respect. So while flat tires, sick kids, and traffic are all inevitable, the key is to at least call or send a message explaining why you’re late and how long you’ll be late.

Monopolize the conversation

Whether it’s using the entire dinner to talk about your problems or constantly trying to draw attention to yourself at every opportunity, experts agree that this behavior is just plain rude. Even if you didn’t intentionally interrupt your friend’s story to tell a different story that she reminded you of, it can be hurtful to others, so be mindful of your impulses.

Cut a line

If you’ve ever parked in a spot where you know someone else was waiting, or jumped the queue and pretended not to even see the angry person behind you, you are guilty of have demonstrated rude behavior.

“Cutting in line is almost universally considered rude, because it indicates that you think your time is more valuable than other people’s,” says Farahan.

Not respecting personal space

Although the amount of space one needs can vary from person to person and culture to culture, Farahan says that running into someone or bumping into them without at least acknowledging them is universally rude. So the next time you’re waiting in line somewhere or in a crowded space, respect other people’s personal space (or at least apologize if you pass them).

Being noisy in public spaces

Ask anyone around you and they’ll probably all agree that they don’t want to hear someone’s work conference call or FaceTime at a coffee shop, or hear someone’s loud conversation one at the cinema. Yet you’ve probably heard all of this many times and probably been the author of it at least once. Experts agree that this behavior is rude, disruptive and inconsiderate.

Never say “Thank you”

Completely dropping the ball by showing appreciation after someone gives you a gift, helps you move, or offers you some other kindness is not only rude, it can damage your relationships.

“Not expressing gratitude can make others feel unappreciated,” says Yamamoto. Rather than hurting your loved one, send (or at least plan) a thank you message right away so as not to inadvertently forget later.

Interrupt

We’ve all had those moments when we can’t help but blurt out something, says Yamamoto. But this rude habit interrupts the other person’s train of thought and indicates that you may be uninterested or dismissive of what they are saying. It’s important to give everyone time and space to speak without fear of interruption.

Ignoring greetings and goodbyes

Irish farewell jokes aside, leaving a party or other occasion without at least saying goodbye to the host is bad manners, and entering a room without greeting a single person can be considered equally rude.

“It’s like saying, ‘You’re not important enough for me to recognize,'” Farahan says.

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Greetings too informal

Whether you’re at a work event or meeting someone’s parents for the first time, it’s a good idea to tailor your greeting to suit the occasion.

“In the past, greeting someone with a firm handshake or formal introduction was the norm. Nowadays, informal greetings like “Hey” or ignoring traditional courtesies can be seen as disrespectful to older generations who value formality,” says Yamamoto.

Undressing for Formal Occasions

While older generations grew up viewing formal dress as synonymous with professionalism and respect, Eyring says younger generations tend to reject such formalities. That said, while it’s probably still OK to be casual during our grocery shopping or school pickup, it’s definitely rude if we don’t at least try to be a little more casual. efforts when we go to a wedding, an interview or any other more formal occasion.

Ask invasive questions

Yamamoto says that asking people things like their age, marital status, or whether or not they have children is common in some cultures when meeting someone, but is considered rude in many others. Even if you live in a world of oversharing, it’s always best to err on the side of caution and wait for others to open up to you first.

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