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You red pill Americans are raiding their homes and murdering their pets.
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You red pill Americans are raiding their homes and murdering their pets.

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One of the main differences between the left and the right therefore lies in the desire of one of the two camps to leave you alone. Of course, all politicians want power, but clearly one type of power is more pervasive than the other. So meet public enemy number one: Peanut the squirrel – apparently the most sinister rodent since Adam Schiff. Or he was until New York State decided he had to leave.

His crimes appear to have been linked to living indoors, unlike half of New York City. I guess if he had a tent and smoked meth he’d still be with us. But last week, agents of New York State The Department of Environmental Conservation launched a five-hour raid on the home of Peanut’s owner, Mark Longo, and arrested Peanut.

Peanut the squirrel wearing a cowboy hat, left, baby Peanut the squirrel, right

Peanut or P’Nut the squirrel has 532,000 subscribers on Instagram. (peanut_the_squirrel12 via Instagram)

Five hours! It probably took that long to put on the little handcuffs. But thanks to around ten agents, prepared for strong resistance, Peanut was apprehended with minimal injuries. They must have spent five whole hours patting his balls. But to these brave New York environmental officers, he was their Bin Laden. Obviously, Peanut had to go. A rodent Nazi, a weirdo, if you will, because in New York they don’t want squirrels to take your nuts, just pediatricians. Now Peanut had a co-conspirator – Fred the raccoon.

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Obviously a criminal because he always wore a mask. Fred was also eliminated during the raid and, like Peanut, executed. No trial, no jury, no due process, nothing. It’s as if they were at Capitol on January 6. Maybe they’re the ones who shit on Pelosi’s desk. Now the state says it had to euthanize both animals so they could be tested for rabies after Peanut bit one of the officials. Yes, a bite that occurred during the raid, which means the state claims to have fixed the problem it itself caused.

Peanut the squirrel eating peanuts

Peanut the squirrel enjoys some peanuts in this photo shared on Instagram. (peanut_the_squirrel12 via Instagram)

They attacked a house, upset a terrified squirrel and, when it bit them, shot it. Case closed. The city is now safe from an adorable rodent. As for the owner, he and his wife think someone has reported them. It turns out they have an OnlyFans page where they post porn, and that page helped them raise hundreds of thousands of dollars, which they used to purchase their 350-acre property.

Now, as a resident of New York State, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the state’s commitment to my safety. You know, I was starting to think that with all this crime and homeless and migrant chaosthings were going in the wrong direction. But now, thank God, we are back to law and order. First with the squirrels. The joke about priorities is obvious, but the process itself is not. A big government, by its nature, only sees itself as a growing government. And as it grows, so does its intrusiveness. But because they want to control every aspect of your life, they forgo the basic things they were originally designed to do: crime, sanitation, homelessness. Only instead focus on stupid shit like your pets, your lemonade stands, your pronouns. And why? Well, what is government made of? Bureaucrats.

The robots that feather their nests by doing exactly what they are told. Think about it. Did anyone during this raid stop at any point and say, Hey, wait a minute, this is fucking stupid, this is crazy, is that crazy? Or was it all just automatic? As the old saying goes, just follow orders. You know, we worry about the unconscious thinking of artificial intelligence. Once it starts, you can’t stop it. But the state’s counting officers, civil servants, and environmental control agents are already here, and they’re worse.

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They are just following Democratic politics with the power of judge, jury and executioner. The fact is that most people don’t get involved in politics until politics enters their lives. You could be completely disinterested in all of this and then the government would show up and tell you that your the sex of the child is fungibleand your pets are replaceable. It’s like parents who never cared about anything other than homework and soccer practice until Covid came along. And then they attended a school board meeting and realized the maniacs were in charge.

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Perhaps we should thank China for inventing a virus that acted more like the smell of salt to us and woke up the average citizen. Now, I’m not saying Peanut’s death shook up New York, but you want to red pill America? Raid their homes and murder their pets.