Masculine energy in relationships is probably different than you expect – it’s the part that is goal-oriented, assertive, and action-oriented. More focused on doing than being.

Most people use their masculine energy to work and achieve their goals. It’s not about whether someone is physically strong or stoic; rather, it’s about how they behave.

What does healthy masculine energy look like in relationships? Healthy masculinity is about respect and integrity. The trunk anchors the tree in the ground, allowing the leaves to dance in the wind.

Masculinity is often misunderstood and vilified due to unhealthy or toxic expressions of masculine energy – focused on power and control. He wants to have power over others. Healthy masculine energy focuses on developing inner power and strength and controlling oneself, not others.

Here are 7 signs of healthy masculinity that show he will make a great husband:

1. He’s comfortable with vulnerability

It really takes strength and confidence to show someone your true feelings. Healthy masculinity embraces authentic expression and knows that vulnerability comes from inner strength.

Your man should be able to open his heart to you and reveal his inner thoughts and feelings. He knows that showing his emotional weaknesses doesn’t make him weak. Instead, it creates a deeper connection and trust in the relationship.

Studies published in 2013 show that being able to express your feelings helps lessen their impact and overcome them more quickly, so look for a man who is in touch with his emotional life and can open up to you. He may not always have the language or wear his emotions on his sleeve, but he will tell you how he feels when it’s important.

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2. He is punished

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A man who is comfortable in his own skin and knows who he is will make you feel grounded and secure. Imagine that the masculine is the trunk of the tree and the feminine the small branches, leaves and flowers. A strong trunk supports the branches and leaves so that they dance in the wind and encourages the flowers to bloom.

Grounded Masculine Energy gives you the space to fully express your femininity. He supports your emotional side and doesn’t feel threatened by your passion and intensity. He appreciates the way you soften him and connect him to his feelings.

This is best expressed by watching two ballroom dancers. The male in the dance supports the female. He leads and holds the female as she turns and circles around him beautifully.

This dance of masculine and feminine energies in relationships allows the strengths of both partners to be expressed and to be in harmony with each other.

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3. He provides for you and makes you happy

A man who feels comfortable in his masculinity knows that his happiness comes from making you happy. He wants to provide you with the things you need to thrive.

According to research from Psychology today, a man’s sense of identity is closely linked to his ability to provide for his family. This does not mean he has to be the breadwinner or sole financial supporter. He can provide for you through his ability to take care of the things you don’t want to or can’t do. It can provide you with emotional support and encourage you to pursue your career.

As long as he knows that his support brings you joy, he will be willing to give you what you need, honor your requests, and work to meet your needs. Its power lies in its ability to please you and create an environment where you feel safe and cared for.

This doesn’t mean you can’t succeed on your own. A man who is confident in his masculinity will not feel threatened by a woman who is more successful than him. He will want to support you in creating your dreams alongside you.

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4. He embodies integrity

Do his words match his actions? Does he take responsibility when he makes a mistake? Can he apologize if necessary?

These traits come from a man who lives with integrity and is comfortable with his masculinity. He is not afraid to be imperfect and will show you his weaknesses.

Integrity is essential to living with healthy masculinity. Living up to your values ​​and beliefs requires inner strength and confidence. A man who is constantly influenced by those around him is not anchored in his truth.

Defensiveness and rejection of reproaches are qualities of a man who is not confident. Integrity requires that you take responsibility for your actions. No one is perfect, but everyone can fix their mistakes and apologize for not meeting their standards.

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5. He leads but is not rigid

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When a man takes charge in a relationship, he knows what he wants and is willing to take action to get it. He will ask you out in advance. He wants to make a claim, take you off the market and demand exclusivity. However, this does not mean that he is so determined in his actions that he cannot react and change course when given feedback.

Toxic masculinity only sees things one way: its own way. Healthy masculinity can adapt and change course when necessary.

Is he trying to bulldoze you or overwhelm you with his love? Or is he curious to discover what you want? Look for a man who knows what he wants and is flexible. Ideally, each of you draws on each other’s strengths to create a strong bond.

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6. He asks for and accepts help.

A man who expresses healthy masculine energy knows he doesn’t always have the answers. He is willing to accept help and may even actively seek it. He knows that a team is stronger than going it alone.

Your man may be struggling and striving to solve problems independentlybut he will also know when he can’t do it alone. He will not be afraid to ask for help and is not afraid of being seen as weak when he asks for help, because he knows that it takes real strength to admit to needing help .

Is your man capable of asking for your opinion or help? Does he have mentors or friends he can count on? Did you read the instructions before trying to assemble the furniture you bought from Ikea? A man who can ask for help has confidence in himself and is willing to admit what he doesn’t know.

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7. He’s not obsessed with being right.

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The need to be right is an unhealthy masculine trait, but the desire to be right is an example of healthy masculine energy. Whether he’s trying to please you, striving to express his feelings, or achieving a goal in his life, a man comfortable in his masculinity wants to do things right. He also knows that he is not always right.

A man comfortable in his masculinity is willing and able to give credit where credit is due, without being obsessed with taking all the credit for himself. He will strive to do things right and will easily admit his wrongs.

Look for these examples of healthy masculine energy when you’re dating. Encourage your man to step into his masculine by relaxing into your feminine power. Ultimately, you will find that you are happier, more relaxed in your relationships, and can trust the man you are with.

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Orna and Matthew Walters are couples coaches, founders of Create love on purpose, which takes a holistic approach to transforming hidden blocks into love, and the authors of Do it right this time.