• A tech worker uses microdosing to manage PTSD and improve her work performance.
• Microdosing helps him concentrate and reduces panic attacks, thereby improving work efficiency.
• Despite the benefits, she remains cautious because of the potential risks associated with large-scale use of mushrooms.

This essay as told is based on a conversation with a 46-year-old technician from Atlanta who wished to remain anonymous for privacy and professional reasons. Business Insider has verified his identity and employment, and his remarks have been edited for length and clarity.

I work in technology for a notable Fortune 40 company. I started working for this company in 2004 when I was 26 years old. In 2012, my company placed me in Atlanta to open a new hub, so I moved there with my husband and daughter.

One day at work, I was asked to speak to an employee who was considered combative. As I went to talk to this person, I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath. I went to the bathroom to try to calm down, but I still felt out of breath. I continued my work day with this feeling.

Later that day, I gave a presentation. As I began my presentation, my voice and my whole body began to shake. I didn’t realize it was a panic attack.

A few years later, in 2014, I started microdosing to combat these intense feelings. I realized it made me better at my job, although I have to be careful.

I started microdosing to help with my complex PTSD

I had a traumatic life as a child, which included abuse and abandonment. This led me to develop Complex PTSDand I was diagnosed dissociative personality disorder as an adult.

When I moved to Atlanta, it was the most stressful job I’ve ever had. I was in charge of hundreds of employees who reported directly to me.

During this time, my ex-husband from my previous marriage filed a lawsuit seeking custody of our daughter. It was the most stressful time of my life. My colleague suggested that I talk to a professional and get help, but I was afraid of seeing a cognitive-behavioral therapist or “talk therapist”. Before moving to Atlanta, talking about my past with a therapist made my body feel like it was physically in danger because of my CPTSD.

I also tried focus patches, ADHD medications, and all sorts of physical changes to my environment, but nothing worked or the side effects were unpleasant. I didn’t want to go through that this time.

In April 2013, I began attending a non-denominational church where I met with a life coach. She recommended using mushrooms medicinally to treat trauma. In December 2013, I attended my first medicine ceremony.

My work performance suffered

Although this helped me feel relieved, at the time I was being told that my job performance was suffering. I dissociated from work due to stress, which made my inconsistent job performance. I also dissociated myself from outside work.

During my dissociations, I felt disconnected from my body and my environment. Sometimes I was driving my car and it felt like my car was floating. I decided to try cognitive behavioral therapy again.

After attending my medicine ceremonies, I learned about microdosing. My body is very sensitive to drugs and alcohol, so I wanted to know more about how microdosing affected me. But I didn’t know where to get drugs. I found someone who sold me 10 microdose capsules through my ceremony contacts for $40. I took the capsules for two days and then took a day off. Since I was taking them several days a week, it became expensive.

Buying from dealers was difficult and inconsistent, so I decided to grow my own mushrooms. I experimented and learned how to do it myself, growing it in a bathtub.

Combining Traditional Talk Therapy and Microdosing Changed My Life

Microdosing Creates Space between my mental, emotional and physical states, I dissociate less and am less prone to panic attacks. When I have big projects, I have trouble knowing where to start or what to focus on. Microdosing helps me focus on one task at a time to tackle the project in small parts and not feel overwhelmed.

Although my job requires coding, research is also a major component of my job. I often have to solve unique problems for which there isn’t much literature on them. This makes it difficult to stay focused as I’m constantly switching back and forth between coding and research, but microdosing helps me get into a state of flow.

Even if I’m a little confused about what problems I’m working on, I can stay on track when moving from research to coding. It is also helps me remember better new information.

My therapist warned me about medicine ceremonies

I have to be careful. There was one time I accidentally took double the usual dose, saw my hands shaking, and realized I was too drunk to work. I knew I couldn’t handle a meeting with colleagues in this state. Luckily, I was able to take some time during my lunch break to get back to my usual self and was able to get back to work.

I am open with my therapist about my microdosing. She supports me, even though she warned me against attending medicine ceremonies because take large doses of mushrooms can cause dissociation. My body is already dissociating from PTSD, so this could make things worse for me.

My performance has improved now, I’m a defender

I don’t need Xanax or antidepressants. I just need a little help. Microdosing helps me bridge the gap between traditional medications and their lifelong use. My performance at work has improved a lot.

Since I started microdosing, I am a much better mother, wife, employee, and person. I am a defender.

Editor’s note: There is no medical consensus on the benefits of these psychedelics, and these medications may carry risks.

If you have a unique experience with microdosing at work and would like to share your story, please email Manseen Logan at [email protected].