A woman who is to be the maid of honor and sole witness at her best friend’s wedding says she won’t attend the nuptials after the bride booked an Airbnb and venue without coordinating with her.

The Redditor shared in a job On Reddit’s popular “Am I The A——” forum, her best friend, who got engaged in August and wants to “get married as soon as possible,” recently informed her that she was considering to get married “in a month” just before Christmas in an “isolated town 5 hours away”.

However, the bride also let her know that even though she and her groom had “already booked” their Airbnb, she would have to “find” hers. She also noted that the bride didn’t check with her beforehand whether the new wedding schedule would work, because she “legally” has to be there “to sign off” on the wedding.

“This is where I have difficulty: she didn’t ask me if I was available in December, she didn’t check if I could do it financially a week before Christmas – which I can’t not,” she wrote. “When we were discussing where I could stay, I was saying everything is really expensive and I don’t want to pay on Friday night when I arrive at 10 p.m. and sleep in.”

She further explained that to get to the wedding venue, she would have to cross two mountain passes and that she doesn’t “feel safe going there.” She also said she would be traveling alone as her partner had to stay behind to watch their two dogs.

“I’m new to this wedding ethic and I understand that the day is about them and they can do whatever they want, but shouldn’t you check with your (maid of honor)? Am I talking about myself? » asked the woman before opening the forum.

Several people sided with the woman, including one person who said that if the couple “didn’t contact her” about her availability, then she was “well within her rights to opt out.”

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Another person agreed: “She didn’t take you or your situation into account at all. She can’t really be mad when you can’t or won’t go.”

One Reddit user noted that the woman “said ‘yes’ to one thing” and “that’s the thing you’re committing to!” They added: “Your friend changed everything, without even asking you, and so your initial ‘yes’ no longer counts. Your friend also upset the work you did to plan the bachelorette party, which is an additional strike against her.

In an update, the woman shared that she had changed her mind and would try to attend the wedding because she valued their friendship, saying that “if she wants me to be there, I’ll be there.” She said she was ready to “suck this one up” because they “are very close” and she wanted their future children to “grow up together.”

The Redditor also noted that she would “only drive on clear days” and stay at her friend’s house to “save money” for accommodation. In another update, the woman shared that her friend finally came to see her.

“She understands it depends on the weather and appreciates me making an effort,” she wrote. “They finally asked me to stay in their Airbnb.”