Dear Annie: I met this guy who seems to be my soul mate. He lives in America and I am in South Africa. However, he refuses to meet me and says it’s because he’s a celebrity.

He is manipulative and constantly makes me cry. He wants me to send him money before we meet, but since I can’t – I just don’t have the funds he requested – he hasn’t spoken to me in almost three weeks now. He sulks and generally acts like a child.

I love this man, but I don’t like this behavior. We are both adults and should act as such. He said before we stopped talking that I had to send him $8,000, which he knows full well is unrealistic. I’m at the end of my tether. Can you please advise? — Used and upset

Dear used and upset: As much as you think you “love” this man, you know better than anyone that this relationship is a scam. If he really cared about you, he wouldn’t make you cry or give you the silent treatment, let alone ask you for thousands of dollars. I only see red flags here, and I’m sure you do too. Stop it immediately.

Dear Annie: I’m in a terrible conflict with my closest friend “Claudia” and I can’t find a way forward. We are both in our early 30s and have been friends for seven years, meeting through her current husband and my ex-husband, who are childhood friends. Claudia supported me through a traumatic divorce two years ago and we became like family. But since then, I’ve battled depression, moved back in with my parents in another state, and lost my job, while she got engaged, landed a high-profile job, and is recently married.

The conflict began when she announced her wedding date. I immediately asked if my ex and his new wife would be invited, which upset her because she thought I should have congratulated her first. We argued about this and other previous times when I felt like she had been unfairly aggressive (she’s an outspoken CEO; I prefer a gentler approach).

Eventually, I attended her bachelorette party, but I was emotionally exhausted and dreading questions from women who knew about my divorce, and I made no secret of my lack of enthusiasm. This caused her to act coldly towards me. She told me later that she needed me to be in a better mental state for her wedding, and I brought up how hurt I had been by her disdain during The Bachelorette. She exploded, saying that our friendship had revolved around me for three years, that she needed space and that she was reconsidering our relationship.

Her wedding was last month (I’m glad I wasn’t there to run into people I was dreading), and I recently found out she was friends with my ex’s new wife on Instagram, which Made me furious. Annie, who is wrong here? What am I missing? Should I be upset about his relationship with this woman? I still love him, but I’m afraid the friendship has run its course. I’m so lost. Please advise. — Lost and loving friend

Dear beloved friend: It’s not about who is “right” or “wrong”. You and Claudia are currently going through different periods of life. So it makes sense that you feel unsupported and struggle to relate to each other.

It’s normal for friendships to fluctuate. What you need to consider is if you really want things to work out again between the two of you. Do you think things are worth saving with Claudia? With this new space and more honest and direct communication, does it seem possible to overcome these bumps in the road? Repairing this relationship will require grace and forgiveness from both of you.

And as for Claudia’s relationship with your ex’s new wife, try to understand how she is forced to treat her husband’s best friend’s new partner.

“How can I forgive my cheating partner? » is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology – featuring her favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation – is available in paperback and e-book form. Visit for more information. Send your questions to Annie Lane at [email protected].