Dear Readers: On September 23, I published two letters from older people who are struggling to find connection (“Still Grieving” and “Want Connection”). I asked those of you who have managed to form a friendship and romantic partnership at a later stage in your life to write to me.

I shared some of these great answers last Thursday and, as promised, more today.

In 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, MD, issued a Surgeon General Advisory on what he called “the public health crisis of loneliness, isolation, and lack of connection in our country.” Even before the COVID-19 pandemic began, he said, about half of American adults reported feeling measurable levels of loneliness.

You are not alone. But there are solutions in the letters below as well as in the wonderful new book “Party of One: Be Your Own Best Life Partner” by Meghan Keane, founder and producer of NPR’s “Life Kit.” It offers practical and witty advice for people of all ages and stages of life.

Dear Eric: After becoming a widow at age 48 after 28 years of marriage, it took me some time to go through a grieving process and reconnect. One conclusion I came to was this: Divorced people need divorced people and widows need other widows. Then I discovered that a good connection was someone already “in my circle”: my close friend died and I ended up marrying her husband who I hadn’t known when I knew her. Common interests brought us together and our shared memories and familiarity with our community gave us much to build on. We got married after knowing each other for two and a half years and have already enjoyed eight wonderful years together in this new chapter.

– Find your collaborators

Dear Find Your People: I’m so happy you found this new love. I think your perspective on finding those who can share and help us face life’s challenges is relevant.

Dear Eric: When a non-LDS friend moved to Salt Lake City and was looking to meet his neighbors without joining the church, I recommended he visit and join a Toastmasters club. He did so and made many positive contacts. As an international communications and leadership organization with clubs all over the world, Toastmasters’ weekly or bi-weekly club meetings welcome guests, enjoy hearing the stories or experiences of others, and give people the opportunity to mentor and make friends with others. Writing and practicing speeches has the added benefit of keeping the brain active and looking forward, not back.

– Toastmasters Member

Dear Toastmasters: I love Toastmasters and any opportunity to strengthen communication and storytelling skills.

Dear Eric: I joined two groups related to two of the things that interested me most: politics and writing. At the writers group, I met another woman with whom I seemed to have nothing in common except a pulse and an interest in writing – but one conversation after another happened and in a way or another, we quickly became the closest of friends. We still are.

During the online chat group, I started having conversations with one man in particular. This led to exchanging phone numbers, long calls, FaceTime calls, visits, dating. I did not participate in any of these activities with the aim of meeting anyone. I joined the company with the goal of pursuing interests that already interested me.

– Happy byproduct

Dear Happy: Yes! The most important thing is to follow your interests and joys.

Dear Eric: Personally, I think most adults are insincere, self-centered, devious, two-faced jerks, but the people who volunteer tend to be some of the most genuine, compassionate, loving, sweet people you can think of. I met. Additionally, wherever a person volunteers, they will likely meet others with similar passions and interests, so there is a built-in commonality.

– Give back

Dear Giving Back: Wow, that’s taken a turn, hasn’t it? Although I don’t have such a low opinion of people in general, we share a love of volunteering. And it can introduce you to people who care about the things you care about and who are working toward a worldview that matches your views.

Dear Eric: My wife and I retired and moved to a small town. I needed to find a pool because I swim daily. I signed up for the only pool in town, the local YMCA. It takes a little time, but you start talking to the people around you and those you see every day. We now have so many friends that we met at the YMCA, it’s like we grew up in this town.

– Swimming meet

Dear Swim Meet: An excellent result. Physical activity at the gym, Y or senior center, even if you’re not exercising, can create many social connections.

Learn more Ask Eric And other advice columns.

Send your questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.