DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for 30 years. Over the past two years, a friend of ours (also married) became interested in my wife. He obviously finds her attractive, like most men, but I’m trying to understand what his intentions are.

He talks to me about her and her body, so if he’s trying to hide his crush on her, he’s not doing a very good job. I know my wife finds him attractive too, although when I mention his name she ignores it and says they are just friends. He has a lovely wife and appears to be a devoted husband and father to his adult children.

I know my wife loves me, but her frequent comments worry me. I don’t always show my wife the attention she deserves, so should I step up my game to prevent someone else from doing so? Should I be concerned that this man’s intentions are more than “just friendly” and talking? — SUSPECT IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SUSPECT: You have the right to tell this friend that his comments about your wife’s body are inappropriate and you want them to stop. You also have the right to become a more attentive husband. I’m sure your wife would appreciate it. I do not I think it’s necessary to ask this man if his “intentions are more than just friendly.” You weren’t born yesterday and you already know the answer is yes.

DEAR ABBY: I got out of rehab two months ago. While I was there, I met someone. “Annie” lives in Florida and I live in California. We’re both doing great and I think we make each other stronger.

Do you think a long distance relationship can work? I heard it wasn’t possible. She recently got divorced, just like me. Annie has two children aged 15 and 16 and for this reason she cannot leave Florida. I also have two children, ages 11 and 16, and I cannot leave my state for the same reasons. But our kids will be going to college in a few years and I really care about her.

I know how hard it is to find someone. Over the past three years, I have dated 20 women. Neither of them are someone I would want to have a relationship with. Annie is perfect for me. I said we should take it one day at a time. She’s come here twice to see me, and I’ll fly out to see her next time. I know this relationship has its challenges. People tell me that anything is possible and that I have to see where it takes us. — OF HOPE IN THE DESERT

DEAR HOPE: In three years, Annie’s youngest child will be 18. Will her children go to college? It will be seven years before your youngest child is considered an adult. Could Annie move to California when she is no longer bound by a custody agreement?

I agree with those who tell you that anything is possible. This is the truth, provided that you and Annie are prepared to maintain a long-distance relationship for years to come. You both have your sobriety that needs to be maintained, children that need support, and relationships with exes that may or may not be problematic. For the foreseeable future, you and Annie should agree to keep your options open and not rule out dating other people. If you’re meant to be together, it will happen.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.