A woman who didn’t attend her sister’s baby shower after a miscarriage is the subject of intense scrutiny from family members.

In a job On Reddit’s “Am I the A——” forum, the 29-year-old wrote that she and her husband, also 29, found out they were expecting in March, weeks after the poster’s sister also discovered she was pregnant.

“We were all excited to imagine our children growing up as best friends,” the woman wrote before detailing that she and her husband ended up losing their baby at 16 weeks — marking their second miscarriage that year.

Stating that the loss “hit us hard”, the woman said she “struggled deeply, even having dark thoughts about ending my life” and became estranged from her family because she “couldn’t bear to see my sister pregnant.”

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Months later, the Redditor’s sister’s wedding was approaching, along with her baby shower and gender reveal.

According to the woman, she informed her family that she would be at the wedding, but would not be able to attend future events because “being around pregnant women is a trigger for me, reminding me of our loss.” ”

Although she said her family “seemed understanding but hoped we could change our minds,” the woman further explained that the family celebrated the wedding day together but received an angry message from ‘another brother shortly after.

“The next morning, my older sister (not the pregnant one) sent me a long message, basically saying, ‘Your sister was there for you during your stages, why can’t you be there for her now? Focus your energy on her.’ and move on already,” she wrote, adding that she was “devastated” and that her husband “was furious at this insensitivity and realized this was how the whole family felt.”

After asking on the Reddit forum if she was wrong in her decision, many sided with the woman, understanding her struggle and heartbreak.

“Two miscarriages can be absolutely devastating and people don’t understand until they experience it – how much it crushes your spirit, your innocence and your future,” one commenter wrote, while Another added: “Your reaction is perfectly normal under the law.” circumstances and it is a shame that your family criticizes you when they should be supporting you and your husband.

Others, for their part, questioned the woman about her decisions and how long they lasted. “Really, how do you think this is going to work…are you going to ignore the baby when it comes? Never want to hear about it? Never go to family functions because someone else is pregnant?” one user wrote.

“Life goes on. You can be sad AND be there for your sister. If you ever have a baby, you’re going to want everyone to be happy about you. You’re going to want to talk about it and share your joy,” they added.