DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am at the age when many of my friends’ children are getting married. I am always delighted to be invited to celebrate with happy couples and delighted to give them a wedding gift to start them off in life.

Sadly, I very rarely receive recognition for my gifts. This seems to be accepted behavior.

What should I do when the invitation to give a gift for the impending baby arrives? My baser self would love to grumble that they still have plenty of courage to reach out, but I value my friendships with their parents.

So far, I’ve taken a deep breath, sent a gift, and talked about them behind their backs – like decent people do.

Does Miss Manners have a suggestion for a polite way to indicate that since they didn’t bother to acknowledge the first gift, subsequent gifts should not be requested?

GENTLE READER: Decent people don’t scold people directly, as you said. They don’t look for trouble either. If the impending babies do indeed materialize, Miss Manners suggests you politely decline the invitation – both to attend the festivities and to give a gift.

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners on her website, www.missmanners.com; to his email, [email protected]; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)