DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiancé and I are getting married this fall. This will be a very small wedding, attended only by our immediate families, and with no official reception.

Because we are having such a small wedding and because we have been living and making a home together for six years, we have not created any sort of wedding registry. The presence of our loved ones at this special moment is gift enough!

However, my future MIL recently threw a surprise wedding party on our behalf, during which several family members who will not be present at the wedding gave us gifts. Although we are very grateful for their thoughtfulness, our lack of a registry meant that many of the gifts either didn’t fit our style or were things we already had. Guests provided gift receipts, so we were able to return some of these unnecessary items and purchase a nice set of knives instead.

How should I complete the thank you message for the items we have returned? Should we mention that they were exchanged for something else, or just thank people for what they gave?

I don’t want to lie and say, “Thanks for the candlesticks; they have a pride of place on our fireplace! although this is not the case.

GENTLE READER: Welcome to a world where gifts are not simply chosen from a list and some thought goes into their choice. Isn’t that wonderfully cheesy?

Being honest would be cruel, but outright lying isn’t necessary either. Miss Manners suggests complimenting gifts without committing to using them. As in: “What a unique and interesting tablecloth. Its Jackson Pollack-like look will come in handy for hiding spills.